Things happen too fast
The last few months have been really tough for me. On February 20th my father passed away because of leukemia. My life has completely changed. I did not arrive on time to see him. I was actually on the plane on my way to see him when he passed away. He was 47 years old, 4 days shy of turning 48. The whole experience was surreal. When I saw him it looked like he was sleeping and really looked at peace. My heart aches every day because I didn't get a chance to see him and because I had spoken to him briefly two days before. I believe I told him that I loved him before he hung up but I can't remember if he answered.
I had moved up my wedding hoping that he would be there. All the invitations were out and he received his. He was so happy and excited. I remember once my father told me that it's better not to get married, but when he started going to church and was baptized he told me and my fiance that we needed to get married. He caught me off guard but something had definitely changed in my father. He was attending church regularly and was also servicing the church. In my 22 years of life my father went to church for 2 years and those were the last years of his life. He had reconciled himself with God and had much dedicated the last two years of his life to him. He showed faith in God and he also knew that his time was coming sooner than what we thought. I just wished that he would have told me so that I could have been with him.
At his wake I sang "Amazing Grace" at first I felt like I would break down and cry, but then I felt a complete calm come over me. It was like a warm hug and I knew then and there that my dad was always with me.
We are all able to make good choices but we are also able to make bad ones. BUT what really matters is when and how we make up for what we have done in the past. I was daddy's girl and will always be his little girl, but I know that he went in peace and that God has taken him into his arms and he no longer suffers.
I am now planning my wedding which is in 2 weeks. Many people are coming but the one most important person that will be there is my dad, watching over us.
I had moved up my wedding hoping that he would be there. All the invitations were out and he received his. He was so happy and excited. I remember once my father told me that it's better not to get married, but when he started going to church and was baptized he told me and my fiance that we needed to get married. He caught me off guard but something had definitely changed in my father. He was attending church regularly and was also servicing the church. In my 22 years of life my father went to church for 2 years and those were the last years of his life. He had reconciled himself with God and had much dedicated the last two years of his life to him. He showed faith in God and he also knew that his time was coming sooner than what we thought. I just wished that he would have told me so that I could have been with him.
At his wake I sang "Amazing Grace" at first I felt like I would break down and cry, but then I felt a complete calm come over me. It was like a warm hug and I knew then and there that my dad was always with me.
We are all able to make good choices but we are also able to make bad ones. BUT what really matters is when and how we make up for what we have done in the past. I was daddy's girl and will always be his little girl, but I know that he went in peace and that God has taken him into his arms and he no longer suffers.
I am now planning my wedding which is in 2 weeks. Many people are coming but the one most important person that will be there is my dad, watching over us.
posted by Mari at
1:40 PM
1 Comments
