“I Carry Her with Me” at CSW61

Posted on April 1, 2017 by Nathan Detweiler

Jennifer Kirkby is a member of the ELCA Young Adult Cohort and Eben Ezer Lutheran Church in Oaks, Oklahoma. 

In preparing for the trip to the 61st U.N. Commission on the Status of Women (UN CSW 61), some thoughts would keep coming to mind: How will what is learned from this experience influence my work? How can I share with my church and community? How can I share with the team I work with on a daily basis? In this extraordinary space, there are signs of God’s work all around us, and as I hear the stories, it will become more clear for not just myself but also for all those in attendance what they will be led to do after this experience.

My maternal grandma’s face keeps popping up in my head when I hear the words “care giver,” “care work,” “domestic” and “economic impact of women.” As my grandma aged and was looking at how she was going to support herself in her later years, she was told she did not work enough in her lifetime to receive any Social Security benefits. The amount of money that she received was dependent on her husband’s work and the fact that she was his caregiver. Her worth in dollars was tied to her marital status and caring for him; therefore, it was deemed that she could receive an income. I remember thinking, as a kid, how could they say she has not worked enough? My grandma was always busy, working and taking care of someone else’s needs. She raised seven kids and helped raise several grandchildren, myself included. The regular income she worked for in her lifetime was for cooking, cleaning and caretaking jobs for a local school, children’s home and local people. As kids, if we wanted extra money for special events, she was the first one to tell us we needed to work for it, and she would take us to pick strawberries, wild blackberries, wild onions and walnuts to sell. Many times my grandma did those same things for extra money for gas, food or personal-care needs. Other times when she would need money, she would make pies. I would go door to door and sell the pies.

Looking back, I would give anything to have those times again, to be able to say,  Grandma, you have worked too hard, let me care for you, tell me what you need. She was a strong, Cherokee woman. She was a fighter, and she had great faith. She had faith that her Lord and Savior would provide for her family. She had faith that she would be taken care of despite her struggles, and she had faith that these values would live on in her family.

Throughout my time here, I carry her with me; I carry her spirit and her dreams of independence. There are many stories like this and many more that have not been told. Thank you to ELCA World Hunger, The Lutheran World Federation, and Ecumenical Women for advocating for women to be recognized for their work and contributions. I am honored to be here with such phenomenal women who use their gifts selflessly to make the world a better place for women and children.

In Honor of Wynona J. Fields (pictured)

 

Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.  1 Peter 4:10

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