Skip to content
ELCA Blogs

Faith Lens

December 15-21, 2010–What’s a Gift?

Contributed by Paul Baglyos, St. Paul, MN

Warm-up Question

When is a gift not really a gift?

What’s a Gift?

Recently, a woman addressed the following question and comments to an advice column: “How can I get my significant other to be fair to my kids at Christmas? He always makes sure his kid gets really nice stuff and then he will get something really expensive for himself. But my kids and me? For example, last year he got his 10-year-old daughter an iPod Touch that cost $300, but my kids got $50 gift certificates. Then he bought something for his guitar that costs over $400, and I got nothing. This really bothers me.”

Implicit in the woman’s question and comments is the popular sense that the value of a gift is determined by its monetary cost and that gift-giving should exemplify fairness and equity.  In that regard, gifts and gift-giving lose all character of grace and instead become  matters of obligation.

Discussion Questions

  • Imagine the larger story behind the woman’s question and comments.  What do you suppose the man might say in response to the woman?  What do you suppose his daughter and her kids might say to each other, or about each other, after they have opened their gifts at Christmas?
  • Is the man being selfish and cheap?  Is the woman being too demanding?
  • The response to the woman published in the advice column included this opinion: “We don’t think this guy sounds like significant other material.”  Do you agree with that opinion?  Why, or why not?

Scripture Texts (NRSV) for Sunday, December 19, 2010 (Fourth Sunday of Advent)

Isaiah 7:10-16

Romans 1:1-7

Matthew 1:18-25

(Text links are to Oremus Bible Browser. Oremus Bible Browser is not affiliated with or supported by the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. You can find the calendar of readings for Year C at Lectionary Readings.)

For lectionary humor and insight, check the weekly comic Agnus Day.

Gospel Reflection

Quite a lot was expected of Joseph.  He was told to assume responsibility for his pregnant wife-to-be, and for the unborn child conceived in her womb, even though the child was not his own.  Joseph’s plan “to dismiss [Mary] quietly” was reasonable and fair; after all, her pregnancy might be regarded as a breach of pre-marital trust between them, releasing him from all further obligations.  The angel’s instruction to Joseph, however, required him to surrender all reasonable claims to fairness and to act with a generosity that exceeded obligation.

God, too, acts with a generosity that exceeds obligation.  God’s Christmas gift to the world, the gift of Jesus the Messiah, demonstrates sheer grace on the part of God.  The gift is neither owed nor deserved; it cannot be demanded and it cannot be priced.  God’s generosity is described in this well-known verse from the Gospel according to John: “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life” (John 3:16).

Discussion Questions

  • What is the difference between grace and obligation?
  • Think about a time you received a gift you did not deserve–or felt coerced into giving a gift by the demands or expectations of others?    How does the contrast between grace and obligation change the character of “gift”?
  • Why does it seem easier to understand obligation than to understand grace?
  • How do Christians understand life in relation to God’s grace?  How do Christians demonstrate grace in relation to others?
  • In what ways might the church become more fully a community a grace in the world?

Activity Suggestions

  • Imagine that you are Joseph; write a brief letter to an advice column about your situation in relation to Mary and the unborn child she carries.  Now imagine you are an advice columnist responding to Joseph; write a brief reply to his letter.
  • Think of a gift that your church group might give in celebration of Christmas.  What is the gift, and to whom will you give it?  Make plans to do so.

Closing Prayer

O come, O come, Emmanuel.  Be with us, God, in all our days and all our ways, that we might be with you now and forever.  Amen

.

Sept. 10-17, 2008 – Political season is open season on candidates’ past, families

Warm-up Question: What is one thing in your past that you would love to forget?

With both conventions over, the seemingly endless campaign season is finally in “full swing.” For the next two months, Barack Obama, John McCain, Sarah Palin, and Joe Biden (as well as hundreds of senatorial and congressional candidates) will be making their cases — and defending their records — in an effort to win votes.

But they’re not the only ones talking. This is also a season for journalists to investigate and communicate all they can about the candidates’ pasts: who they dealt with, what promises they broke, who they’ve hurt, and what they’ve done wrong. Tabloids, blogs, primetime anchors, and reputable newspapers will all be trading on rumors, facts, and everything in between.

So far, we’ve learned about John Edwards (prominent Democrat and former VP candidate) and his affair with a campaign aide during his run for the presidency. Sarah Palin is under investigation for abusing her power while governor of Alaska, and the media has had a field day with this family-values oriented candidate disclosing that her unwed 17-year-old daughter is pregnant. Both Barack Obama and John McCain have been charged with “flip-flopping,” saying one thing and then changing their minds for the sake of winning votes. And candidates in every corner of the country are being investigated for ties to oil companies now that gas prices are sky high and oil companies are making more money than ever before.

At the same time, the most forgiving folks are ironically the candidates’ fiercest and most recent critics — the people who ran against them during the primary season. Nearly all the leading candidates for president during the primaries have now enthusiastically endorsed either John McCain or Barack Obama, after very recently saying harsh and even cruel things about their former opponents. The biggest story at the Democrats convention in Denver was about whether the Clintons would “play nice” with Barack Obama after a bruising battle for the party’s nomination. Is this also “flip-flopping” too? Or is it authentic forgiveness and reconciliation? Perhaps no one will know. But in the meantime, we’re all in for a fall full of attacks and apologies, rumors and revelations. And maybe, a little actual conversation about policy and the things that actually matter about governing a nation.

And after November, all these folks will have to figure out a way to govern this nation together, after tearing each other apart.

Discussion Questions

  • What about a candidate’s past is interesting or important to you? What is not?
  • How are you feeling about this year’s election? The advertising? The reporting? How much are you paying attention?
  • How well would you be able to work with someone who for the last year or so called you names or made fun of your past experience?
  • How much room is there for forgiveness in our country’s political scene?

Scripture Texts (NRSV) for Sunday, September 14, 2008.
(Text links are to oremus Bible Browser. Oremus Bible Browser is not affiliated with or supported by the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. You can find the calendar of readings for Year A at Lectionary Readings.)

For lectionary humor and insight, check the weekly comic Agnus Day.

Scripture Reflection (especially Genesis)

The story of our biblical “founding fathers and mothers” is a study in dysfunctional families. Joseph was one of 12 brothers and one sister. He was an arrogant brat as a kid, and his father’s favorite, so his brothers beat him up and left him to die in the desert. Then they had a change of heart and sold him into slavery instead, and they lied and told their father that Joseph had been eaten by wild animals. So much for brotherly love!

Flash forward: Joseph, sold into slavery in Egypt, becomes a wealthy and powerful politician. Meanwhile, back home, a drought and famine is threatening to starve Joseph’s brothers to death. They travel down to Egypt, where Joseph has made sure that Egypt would have plenty of grain, and after a rather frightening and funny scene, Joseph and his family are reunited. Joseph convinces Pharaoh to let his family stay in Egypt, and dad (Jacob) helps the brothers figure out how to get along again.

Then dad dies, and the brothers begin to worry: Will our past come back to haunt us? Will Joseph remember the horrible things we did to him, and now that dad’s not around to intervene, will Joseph seek revenge? He has every right to still be angry, doesn’t he? Will he use our past to destroy our future?

So they decide to lie (again). They tell Joseph that dad told them to tell him to forgive them. All the kindness and favor that Joseph had showered on them was not enough; they needed to hear that Joseph forgave them. They lied to Joseph to make him say what they wanted to hear: “You’re forgiven and I will take care of you.”

Whether Joseph believes them or not seems irrelevant. He believes that God has worked in and through this crazy family to make something good happen for God’s chosen people. And because it is in God’s best interest, Joseph forgives his brothers and promises to provide for them.

But before he does that, something amazing happens: Joseph weeps when his brothers (sort of) ask for forgiveness. And when Joseph weeps, the brothers weep, too. All of them begin to cry all over themselves. Wouldn’t you? Think of all the pain, fear, anxiety, anger, grief, resentment, and vengeance that have built up for these guys over the last few years. In the middle of this amazing story of forgiveness, there is a river of tears.

This kind of vulnerability, compassion, and genuine forgiveness are rare in American politics. Our country has become so cynical that we doubt the sincerity of politicians who cry in public, and probably with good reason. But here, in the halls of the Pharaoh’s palace (the Egyptian White House), are a bunch of guys weeping together, burying old hatchets, and healing old wounds. And not because dad (maybe) said so, but because God moved Joseph to see the bigger picture, to trust that God’s love for God’s people was big enough to cover all the deep wounds that separated Joseph from his brothers for years.

Discussion Questions

  • Why did Joseph and his brothers weep? Have you ever had to apologize, or be apologized to, for something really serious? Did it make you feel like crying? How did it feel?
  • Can you picture Barack Obama and John McCain hugging, crying, and apologizing after the election is over, regardless of who wins? Why or why not?
  • Why do you think the brothers made up the story about Jacob (dad) asking Joseph to forgive them? Why didn’t they just ask for forgiveness on their own? And why didn’t Joseph seem to care that they were lying to him?
  • When has what God thinks mattered more to you than how you personally feel about someone who has hurt you? How do we know what God thinks about the people we are angry with?

Activity Suggestions

  • Collect a few days’ worth of political news (Google News works well for this).

    • What attacks are people making about candidates in local, state, or national elections?
    • Which ones are personal, or about past mistakes (family problems, substance abuse, poor financial decisions, friends or coworkers in legal trouble, religion, changing opinions about something, etc.)?
    • Which ones are about real issues that matter to real people (health care, the war, poverty, education, the environment, safety, etc)?
    • How do you tell the difference?
  • Write a letter to someone you have hurt, and another letter to someone who has hurt you. Tell the story of what happened, talk about your feelings, and ask for/offer forgiveness. Then decide if you want to send it, burn it, or keep it around while you think about it.
  • Act out the scene between Joseph and his brothers. Then write another scene, changing the characters and the situation to fit something more relevant to your daily lives in families, schools, teams, or church. Change roles a couple times. Talk about how it feels to be caught up in this story of anger, vengeance, forgiveness, and love.

Closing Prayer

Holy and Merciful One, you shower your people with forgiveness and love. Help us to be honest about our past, real about our hurts, and open to give and receive forgiveness. Make us a gracious and forgiving people. In Jesus’ name. Amen

Contributed by Pastor Jay McDivitt
Good Shepherd Lutheran Church
Denver, CA