Contributed by Pastor Seth Moland-Kovash
All Saints Lutheran Church
Palatine, IL

Warm-up Question:  How easy do you find it to forgive a friend when something bad happens that is clearly their fault?

Finding fault and placing blame are things that all people do. Somehow it just seems to make us feel better when we can place the blame for someone on someone’s shoulders. Of course, it only serves to make us feel comfortable if we can place the blame on someone else’s shoulders. There are times when placing blame isn’t just a matter of words, but of serious consequences: sometimes thousands or millions of dollars, or other punishments.

One way that this happens is through medical malpractice lawsuits. A doctor or hospital can be sued for malpractice if a mistake is made in treating a patient or something is overlooked that should have been seen or treated.

One current proposal that is part of the debate on the healthcare system as a whole is to limit the amount of money that could be awarded to patients or families in malpractice cases. Called “tort reform,” one proposal would limit the amount of money that people could win to $500,000 for punitive damages and $250,000 for “pain and suffering.” The Congressional Budget Office estimates that this change would save the government $54 billion over the next 10 years.

Some say that the legal awards need to be limited to be reasonable and to cut the costs that doctors have to pay for malpractice insurance. Others say that there is no amount of money that should be considered too great for the family of someone who has died because of malpractice. 

Discussion Questions

1. What do you think? Should there be a limit on the amount of money that a doctor or hospital would have to pay in a malpractice case?
2. If someone you loved died because of a clear case of malpractice, how much money do you think would be a fair punishment?

Scripture Texts (NRSV) for Sunday, November 1, 2009 (All Saints Day).

(Text links are to oremus Bible Browser. Oremus Bible Browser is not affiliated with or supported by the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. You can find the calendar of readings for Year B at Lectionary Readings.)

For lectionary humor and insight, check the weekly comic Agnus Day.

• Isaiah 25:6-9 or Wisdom 3:1-9
• Psalm 24 (5)
• Revelation 21:1-6a
• John 11:32-44

Gospel Reflection

Lazarus was dead. He was dead and buried and in the tomb. Jesus was late. The emergency message had been sent, but Jesus wasn’t there at the right time. Mary (Lazarus’ sister) said to Jesus, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” What do you think that she felt Jesus could have done? Whether she was right or not, she felt that Lazarus would not have died if Jesus had gotten there in time. Perhaps there was a hint of blame in her statement.

Where is God when it hurts? Why doesn’t God seem to be around to help me now like he helped all those people in the Bible? These are common questions that come to our minds when something bad happens. We want to know where God was and why God let that thing happen. In this story, we see that people even during the Bible times had the same experiences. Mary wanted to know why Jesus hadn’t gotten there in time. She wanted to know why this bad thing had to happen to her family. She was in pain.

And Jesus had healing for her pain. It wasn’t like anything she could have imagined. She imagined that, if Jesus had been able to get there before Lazarus died, then Jesus could have healed him. But once he was dead, Mary thought that was the end of the story.

Today, on All Saints Sunday, we remember again that death is not the end of the story for any of God’s saints. Your grandmothers and grandfathers, any of God’s children who have died, are alive again. Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. Nothing can separate us from God’s love; not even death (Romans 8:37-39).

Discussion Questions

1. Tell about a time you were in pain and wondered whether God was even there.
2. Have you seen signs that God is there in painful times? What do those signs look like? (Hint: Look at the other people in the room… they may be the signs for you)

Activity Suggestion

Create an “All Saints” remembrance with your youth group. Bring a memento or photo that makes you think of someone who has died. Tell your friends about that person. Say, “I am thankful to God for ________ because __________.”

Closing Prayer

Good and gracious God, we thank you for all the saints you have given us who have shown us your love and your mercy. Help us to continue to live as your faithful children until the day when we are reunited with all your saints. Amen.

(Or use the prayer for the “Rememberance of the faithful departed” found on page 82 of Evangelical Lutheran Worship.)

Contributed by Steven Alloway
Granada Hills, CA

Warm-up Question:  Have you ever been tricked into believing something that you found out later wasn’t true? How did you respond? What did you do when you found out?

The nation watched in shock and anxiety this past Thursday afternoon as a large, silver Mylar balloon swept across the Colorado skies. The balloon was believed to be carrying six-year-old Falcon Heene, whom his parents reported had climbed into the balloon that was tethered in their backyard, just before the knots were untied, releasing Falcon and the balloon into the air.

Four hours later, the balloon landed — empty. It was discovered that Falcon had been hiding in the attic of the garage the entire time. But now, authorities believe that the entire ordeal was actually a hoax, a publicity stunt orchestrated by his parents in the hope of securing a reality television show for their family.

Sheriff Jim Alderen says that suspicions of the hoax first arose when the Heene family was interviewed on CNN’s “Larry King Live”. 

Felony and misdemeanor charges are expected to be filed against Richard and Mayumi Heene, as well as an investigation by Child Protective Services.

Discussion Questions

1. Did you follow the news coverage of Falcon Heene and the balloon? Were you concerned for his safety? What’s your reaction now that it was all a hoax?
2. What do you think should happen to Richard and Mayumi Heene? Should they be found guilty? What should be done with their children?
3. With all the publicity surrounding these events, do you think the Heene family will ultimately be successful in their bid for a reality show? If so, would you watch the show? Why or why not?
4. How real is reality TV? How much do you trust the truth or reality of what goes on in “reality shows”?

Scripture Texts (NRSV) for Sunday, October 25, 2009.

(Text links are to oremus Bible Browser. Oremus Bible Browser is not affiliated with or supported by the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. You can find the calendar of readings for Year B at Lectionary Readings.)

For lectionary humor and insight, check the weekly comic Agnus Day.

• Jeremiah 31:7-9
• Psalm 126 (5)
• Hebrews 7:23-28
• Mark 10:46-52

Gospel Reflection

“I once was lost, but now am found; was blind, but now I see.” The words of this familiar hymn, Amazing Grace, of course do not refer to literal blindness. It’s about blindness to the truth about Jesus, the gospel. Earlier in the chapter, the Pharisees provide an example of this blindness. They ask Jesus a silly question to test him, to trip him up. They weren’t concerned about the truth. They were too busy with their own public image and reputation, and the fact that Jesus was making them look bad.

On the other hand, Bartimaeus had his eyes open before Jesus ever restored his physical sight. He had no doubt heard of Jesus’ ability to work miracles, and he too wanted to be healed. So as soon as he heard that Jesus was near, he cried out to him. And he continued to cry out! In spite of being scolded by those around him, he continued to call to Jesus to help him.

And Jesus took notice. He called Bartimaeus over to him, and restored his sight. And as he does, he tells him, “Your faith has made you well.” Miracles are all well and good, but without faith, what difference do they really make? Blind Bartimaeus saw the truth about Jesus: that this was the Son of David, the man who could make him whole again, both physically and spiritually.

Many today are still blind to the truth and good news of the gospel. At times, our own vision and faith can be a little weak. There is strong temptation and encouragement to make us think that the way of the world is the only path to take, the only way to be happy and whole; that the gospel, and even God, is a hoax.

We may look like fools shouting into the wind to some people when we cry out, “Jesus, have mercy on us!” But we must press on. We must continue to cry out for Jesus for mercy, healing, forgiveness, and love, no matter what anyone says or how we look.

We can trust that God does hear us. God answers. Where we were blind, we shall see… through faith.

Discussion Questions

1. Could Bartimaeus still have been healed physically had he not first been healed spiritually? Why or why not?
2. What are some ways that God uses our afflictions and weaknesses (and strengths) to help accomplish his mission and work?
3. What are some ways that we can help share and illuminate God’s promises and truth with others, including each other?
4. What makes our words and actions of witness trustworthy?

Activity Suggestion

Sing “Amazing Grace, How Sweet the Sound,” Evangelical Lutheran Worship, #779. 

Do some research into famous hoaxes in history. An Internet search for “famous hoaxes” is a good place to start. Why did people believe them? How was the truth finally discovered? How does this compare with the truth of the gospel, and the claim by some people that it’s all a hoax or myth? Talk about what faith, trust, and belief mean, especially in relationship to proof and fact.

Closing Prayer

Lord, I once was lost, but now am found; was blind, but now I see. Let my eyes always be open, that I might not be blind to your truth and word. Help me to share your truth with others, so that they too might see and know your great love and healing. Amen.

Contributed by Angie Larson
Clive, IA

Warm-up Question:  What would be the job that you would least want to have?

Joe worked as a bagger at the local grocery store for nearly 7 years. Joe, age 25, has Down’s syndrome. He worked quietly and carefully placing groceries in bags and thanking customers for coming to shop. A bagger is not a particularly prestigious job, but Joe didn’t see it that way. He enjoyed serving. The manager of the store gathered together the employees for a sales pep talk. Joe, as a good employee, attended and listened intently. The manager encouraged all of the employees to take ownership and creativity in the grocery store and to each come up with an idea that would encourage and support their customers.

Joe left the store in search for an idea. He went home and talked to his father about putting an inspirational cartoon or quote in the customers’ bags as they left the store. Joe chose a quote and his father helped him copy and cut the quote into slips of paper so Joe could add them to the bags with the groceries. The next day at work Joe quietly slipped his thought for the day into the bags and passed them to the customers. It made Joe happy, and his customers too.

A couple of weeks later the manager of the grocery store was alarmed to see a line of 20 people in the lane where Joe was bagging. He opened up multiple lanes for people to move to. He was surprised when people wanted to remain in Joe’s lane to receive his inspirational quotes. One woman told the manager that she comes in every day to pick up something just to get Joe’s quote. Joe’s quiet kind service turned a mundane job and shopping experience into one of community and care. 

Discussion Questions

• What’s your first reaction after reading this story?
• Do you do something everyday that seems mundane and ordinary? How can you make it into something special and extraordinary?
• Joe felt a passion for simple service and it inspired many. Who do you know that serves simply that gives them joy?

Scripture Texts (NRSV) for Sunday, October 18, 2009.

(Text links are to oremus Bible Browser. Oremus Bible Browser is not affiliated with or supported by the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. You can find the calendar of readings for Year B at Lectionary Readings.)

For lectionary humor and insight, check the weekly comic Agnus Day.

• Isaiah 53:4-12
• Psalm 91:9-16
• Hebrews 5:1-10
• Mark 10:35-45

Gospel Reflection

In the gospel text, the disciples are experiencing rivalry within their community. The brothers James and John desire to rise to the right and left hand sides of Jesus in his kingdom. At this point, they do not realize what this means for them; they believe that Jesus’ kingdom will be some sort of kingdom on earth.

James’ and John’s blatant grabs for power create a conflict for the community of Jesus and the other ten disciples. When the other disciples hear this scramble for power and recognition, Jesus uses it as a teaching moment for them as well. Jesus teaches all twelve disciples that in order to be great you must be a servant. This concept must have been as hard for the disciples as it is for us today.

Jesus came to teach us how to serve each other — including strangers. Joe wanted to serve in his grocery store in a humble, subtle way that made a difference to hundreds of grocery shoppers. We are taught in our society, as in societies before us, that rising to power and rivalry is the way we get to the top and get recognized for our accomplishments. We sacrifice our values and sometimes our friendships to be able to be competitive and gain prestige or power. Joe didn’t care about prestige or power; he wanted to be able to serve the best he could. How many of us try to serve in all aspects of our lives by trying our best in humble, subtle ways?

“Jesus came not to be served,” as many would imagine of a great ruler and king, but he came “to serve”. Serving and repsecting others builds and strengthens community and does not divide people or pit them against each other. We are to go and do likewise and serve our neighbor.

Discussion Questions

• How would you respond to James and John if you were one of the other disciples? Would you be drawn into the competition? Why or why not?
• What is one mundane activity that you do daily? How can you use that to serve another?
• Realistically, do you think you would be like Jesus, James, and John, or the other ten disciples?
• How does the gospel and your faith guide you in how you treat and care for others? How you think about them? Does serving others come naturally, or does it pose challenges for you? Why?

Activity Suggestion

• Take Joe’s example and be creative to reach out to those in your congregation and community. Develop a biblical quote of the week campaign. Prepare slips of paper with a favorite inspirational Bible verse. Pass out a few to each youth and ask them to pass it along to at least 20 other people. They can do this by slipping the verse to a few people, copying it into a text message, or putting the verse on someone’s Facebook wall. Check in the next time you meet to see how it went.
• Create a list of occupations. List anything: from rocket scientist to farmer to tollway attendant to waitstaff at a restaurant. Ask youth to brainstorm how they could serve others in a creative and meaningful way for those occupations… in any occupation. Talk about the concept of vocation and what God is calling each of us to do with our particular skills, abilities, and interests.

Closing Prayer

Blessed Savior, thank you for serving us. Help us to remember to serve others. We know that at times we look for power and prestige, but we ask you to help us redirect ourselves during those times. Bless those who serve others with their lives. Enable us to learn and live extraordinary lives of service in your humble way. In your name we pray. Amen.

Contributed by Jocelyn Breeland
Fairfax, VA 

Warm-up Question: Do any of the things you own make you sad? Do any of them consume a lot of your time?

Michael Moore’s latest documentary, “Capitalism: A Love Story,” is a continuation of the award-winning filmmaker’s attack on the system that defines the U.S. economy. In it, he looks at the winners and losers in the latest chapter of our economic drama — the financial collapse of late 2008.

Those familiar with Moore’s previous films will recognize his theatrical attempts to show how the wealthy ignore the ordinary people they exploit. In “Roger & Me,” the documentary that made Moore famous, he pursued GM CEO Roger B. Smith, while showing how Smith’s decision to move manufacturing jobs to Mexico devastated GM workers in Moore’s hometown of Flint, Michigan. In “Bowling for Columbine,” Moore contrasted people who promote and enjoy firearms with victims of gun violence. “Fahrenheit 911,” a look at the events following the September 11 terrorist attacks, frames the decision to go to war in Iraq in terms of the petroleum interests of President Bush’s family and Saudi Arabian royals. “Sicko” looked at the winners and losers in the American health care system.

Together, Moore’s films have grossed nearly $200 million and his combination of humor and shocking contrasts have brought a new audience to the documentary genre. For example, one scene in “Capitalism” has Moore setting up police crime scene tape on Wall Street at the site of a “crime” against American taxpayers. At another point, the film asks “When did Jesus become a capitalist?”

Despite his success, there are many who criticize Moore’s politics and his methods. He has agreed with the criticism that “Capitalism: A Love Story” oversimplifies by labeling capitalism evil. However, he said, “…if I tell you that there’s a home foreclosed on every seven and a half seconds, you need to know that that’s absolutely true.”

Michael Moore is a man who enjoys stirring up controversy, and he would appear to have succeeded once again.

(Note: You’ll find good background material for this Faith Lens discussion and lesson in the ELCA Statement on “Economic Life: Sufficient, Sustainable Livelihood for All“.)

Discussion Questions

(Note: Leaders should be prepared to discuss capitalism in general terms. However, for the purposes of this discussion, student perceptions of the role of businesses, workers, and markets are as valid as any.)

1. Have you seen any of Michael Moore’s films? Would you like to? Why, or why not?
2. What’s capitalism?
3. Looking at Moore’s subjects — jobs sent overseas, the Iraq war, health care, and the financial meltdown — is capitalism itself really the problem or cause? What else may contribute to these problems?
4. Given that Moore’s films have made him a very wealthy man, is his criticism of capitalism hypocritical? What would you do in his shoes?
5. Can capitalists be faithful, generous, compassionate Christians?

Scripture Texts (NRSV) for Sunday, October 11, 2009.

(Text links are to oremus Bible Browser. Oremus Bible Browser is not affiliated with or supported by the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. You can find the calendar of readings for Year B at Lectionary Readings.)

For lectionary humor and insight, check the weekly comic Agnus Day.

• Amos 5:6-7, 10-15
• Psalm 90:12-17
• Hebrews 4:12-16
• Mark 10:17-31

Gospel Reflection

Do we need to be poor to be saved? Does God have something against the wealthy? Sometimes, it seems that way, and today’s Gospel is one of those times.

A man asks Jesus what he must do to be saved. Jesus’ first answer is simple enough: obey the commandments. The man says he’s done exactly that his whole life, but he believes there must be something more. The next step, Jesus tells him, is to sell all his possessions and give the proceeds to the poor. The man goes away, despondent. It’s as if he realizes the price of salvation is too high.

The disciples ask a question that resonates today. If it’s that hard, how can any of us be saved? The answer in this case, as we see time and again throughout the New Testament, is that we cannot earn our own salvation. If we must deserve to be saved, then we are all doomed.

The truth is that Jesus, through his sacrifice on the cross and resurrection, has earned salvation for all of us — it’s a gift. And because God has provided for all our needs, we don’t need to rely on or obsess about material possessions for our safety, security, consolation, acceptance, or identity.

Instead, God wants us to separate ourselves from the things and stuff in life that distract us from Jesus, the gift of salvation, and living as humble servants of others. From a current world point of view, this can be a very big sacrifice. It can mean standing against the flow of pop culture, persuasive marketing, and social pressures. However, Jesus assures us that all who make the sacrifices are following God’s desires for humanity and participating in the vision of creation that God holds up for us. Jesus reminds us that living simply and being generous with others isn’t for the sake of getting something really great in return; it’s about trusting in the gift of new life we have received and living as thankful people.

Discussion Questions

(Note: Don’t forget that there are probably a variety of family and economic contexts within the group of young people participating. Some may be very sensitive and painful. The point of the discussion is not to neatly organize everything into a good or bad category, but to reflect on the life that we have been set free to live in the gospel and the challenges it may pose.)

• Is it possible to be wealthy and be saved?
• Consider the ways you might acquire wealth. Is it possible to do so while obeying God’s will and being faithful in living a life of humble compassionate justice as Jesus did?
• In what ways does the gospel message and Jesus’ example ask us to change how we go about everyday life and business?
• Often in disasters (earthquakes, fires, floods) people lose all their possessions. Can this be good news for their faith?
• Do rich and poor people view their faith differently?
• How does Jesus’ view of wealth affect your career and lifestyle choices?

Activity Suggestion

Design an economic system that is consistent with your faith. You may choose to simply make modifications to our existing system, for example, to eliminate homelessness, ensure universal access to medical care, or find employment for everyone (if you believe these are imperatives of your faith). Or, you may choose to create a whole new system from scratch.

• Will your system work only in the United States?
• How will you convince others to join your new system?
• What are the benefits of it for communities? Individuals? Families?
• What might be the weak spots in it that you’ll have to work on?
• How does it reflect your faith and beliefs?

Write a brief description of your system and post it as a comment on the Faith Lens blog. Read and comment on the responses of other groups.

Closing Prayer

Heavenly Father, thank you for providing for our needs and sometimes our “wants,” the stuff that we enjoy but could live without. Help us to remember that the only thing we cannot live without is your gracious love and endless mercy. Everything we have is a gift from you, and we work every day to share that gift with others. Teach us to be untiring in our love for each other and fearless in our generosity with others. We pray for the wisdom and strength to follow Christ’s example. In Jesus’ name, we pray. Amen.

Contributed by Pastor Jay McDivitt
Denver, CO

Warm-up Question:  Do you dream about getting married someday? What do you think about when you think about marriage?

In its Churchwide Assembly in August, the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America amended and adopted its tenth Social Statement in a close vote of the two-thirds required to pass. Social Statements are documents that guide ELCA Lutherans on responding to and discussing important social issues.

The new statement, entitled “Human Sexuality: Gift and Trust,” attempts to provide a distinctly Lutheran approach to a wide array of issues related to human sexuality, including marriage, family, sexual exploitation, abuse and harassment, sex education, promiscuity, and clergy sexual abuse.

While most of the media coverage surrounds the controversial treatment of life-long, monogamous, same-gender relationships (about which the statement affirms a wide range of differences of conviction among members of the church), most of the statement addresses in bold language many issues about which Lutherans agree, including the primary role of marriage in providing the “necessary social support and social trust for relationships,” and “a context of love, trust, honesty, and commitment within which a couple can express the profound joy of relationship as well as address the troubles they encounter throughout life.” (“Human Sexuality: Gift and Trust,” page 9)

With this statement, the ELCA continues a long-held Lutheran tradition of holding marriage in high esteem, expressing deep sorrow at the prevalence of divorce, and the desire to urge couples “cohabitating” (living together) outside of marriage to seek the public accountability and commitment that comes with marriage. In a culture in which divorce rates hover around 50%, this statement seeks to speak a strong word against this trend and strives to reduce the number of marriages that end in divorce.

Discussion Questions

[Be attentive, sensitive, and respectful of the many family and life experiences that youth in the group may have experienced or are in the midst of working through.]

1. How many of the youth in your church come from families that have experienced divorce? How many of your friends at school have dealt with divorce in their families? How do you feel about those numbers?
2. Why do you think so many marriages end in divorce? What happens in families when divorce occurs?
3. How can the church help reduce the number of marriages that experience divorce? If you decide to get married someday, how do you want the church to help you stay married?

Scripture Texts (NRSV) for Sunday, October 4, 2009.

(Text links are to oremus Bible Browser. Oremus Bible Browser is not affiliated with or supported by the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. You can find the calendar of readings for Year B at Lectionary Readings.)

For lectionary humor and insight, check the weekly comic Agnus Day.

• Genesis 2:18-24
• Psalm 8 (5)
• Hebrews 1:1-4; 2:5-12
• Mark 10:2-16

Gospel Reflection

This is one of the hardest teachings of Jesus. Especially when so many of our families have experienced divorce, it is hard to hear Jesus condemning divorce and remarriage in such clear and direct terms. On the surface, it seems that Jesus is saying that divorce is never appropriate — or, at the very least, remarriage is adultery — because it pulls apart a union that God joined together. Ask any pastor, and she or he will probably tell you that this is one of the Sundays when they would prefer to be on vacation!

As always, it is important to understand the culture in which Jesus lived in order to understand what Jesus is teaching. In the laws of Jesus’ religious community, divorce was relatively easy to accomplish — if you were a man. Men could dismiss their wives for virtually any reason, including simple jealousy. In that day, adult women who were unmarried, whether by being widowed or divorced — were very vulnerable. They had limited social status and few options. Many ended up poor and destitute, relying on begging or other undesirable means to get enough food to survive.

It is in this culture that Jesus chooses to “tighten” the commandments about marriage. In a world where women could be left destitute by the whim of a male-initiated divorce, Jesus condemns divorce and commands men and women to stay married, or else fall into the sin of adultery. This is hard to hear, especially for families who have experienced divorce, but in the interest of protecting against vulnerability and poverty for a growing number of women, Jesus’ commandment can be heard as good news.

It is interesting that Mark chose to connect this teaching about divorce to the next section, where Jesus blesses the children. Children were also considered vulnerable members of society; some scholars even call them the most “unimportant” members of culture until they were old enough to ensure the future of the family name and fortune. Could it be that Mark is connecting these teachings to make a point? Jesus, in changing the rules about divorce and remarriage, is doing something similar to what he does when he blesses children: He is providing for the safety, honor, and livelihood of the most vulnerable members of society.

The ELCA Social Statement on Human Sexuality makes this connection as well. “Lutherans understand that intimacy, trust, and safety, particularly for the most vulnerable, are best sheltered within families” (page 12). This is why this church does not favor cohabitation outside of marriage — because without commitment, couples can create situations where people, especially children, can be left more vulnerable and unprotected outside of the public accountability that comes with marriage. Examples of public accountability could include things such as child support and visitation, fair division of property and money, access to public assistance and resources, etc. [It’s not forgotten that a marriage, wedding, or public commitment does not guarantee a perfect relationship or some sort of special insurance against abuse, injustice, conflict, or vulnerability.]

It seems that in this teaching, Jesus is affirming the commitment of the church to care for and encourage strong families and healthy relationships in order to protect the most vulnerable and to provide a place where love and trust can flourish.

Although this church understands that there are many legitimate reasons for marriages to end in divorce — precisely because some marriages are so marked with sin and abuse that people are made more vulnerable by staying in them than by getting a divorce — we stand with Jesus in affirming the gift and promise of marriage, as well as the good news that God desires to care for, bless, and support the most vulnerable among us, especially children.

Discussion Questions

1. How is family a blessing to you in your life? How is being a part of a family difficult? In your own experience, how do you define or describe family? (Intergenerational, single parent, step siblings or parents, grandparents, extended family members, friends who are considered family, living under one roof, sp[reads across many miles or between several households, etc.)
2. What are some reasons people give for getting a divorce? Which reasons make sense to you? Which don’t?
3. If Jesus were around today, what do you think he would say about the reasons people give for getting a divorce? How would he “bless the children” in the context of a culture with such a high divorce rate?

Activity Suggestions

Plan a wedding

Spend some time thinking about what you would want to do for a marriage celebration, should you choose to get married. Have fun planning a reception, a guest list, a first dance, etc., but also spend time thinking about the ceremony itself.

• When will you know it’s a good time to get married?
• What experiences or rituals do feel are important for you to have as part of the ceremony?
• What vows would you like to say to the person you are marrying?
• What readings would you pick?
• Who would you want to be involved?

If you don’t believe you are going to get married, talk about why not.

• How would you want to be a part of other people’s families?
• How could you help raise children and support the gift of family?
• How will you support and encourage the relationships of your friends?
• What other kinds of family and community will you be a part of in your adult life?

[You may want to have some wedding magazines available, although be prepared to talk about some of the more troubling commercial aspects of the wedding business. You’ll probably want to have copies of the marriage service in Evangelical Lutheran Worship, page 286]

Look through the Social Statement on Human Sexuality together
Also check out:

• “Free in Christ to Care for the Neighbor: Lutheran Youth Talk about Human Sexuality
• Frequently Asked Questions about the 2009 Churchwide Assembly actions regarding human sexuality
• “Talking Together as Christians about Tough Social Issues“

This will require preparation on the part of the leaders, but could yield a very interesting conversation. Ask questions like:

• What do you see here? What don’t you see?
• What do you agree with? What do you disagree with?  (FAQs on Bound Conscience)
• What is confusing?
• What are you thankful for that is being talked about in public as a church?
• Do you think it’s important for Christians to talk together about sex? Why or why not?
• What other aspects of human sexuality and relationships do we need to be talking about (in your opinion)?

Be prepared for a lively, respectful conversation, especially if you use the youth Web site resource.

Closing Prayer

Good and gracious God, thank you for the gifts of family, love, trust, and mercy. Help us to strengthen and honor the families you have given us. Forgive us and our family members when we break promises and hurt each other. Give us your grace and mercy, always. Amen.