Contributed by Jay McDivitt, Thiensville, WI

Warm-up Question

Think of a time when you did and a time when you did not apologize for something you did wrong. How does it feel to say you’re sorry? How does it feel not to?

The Power of Not Saying Sorry

Researchers Tyler Okimoto, Michael Wenzel, and Kyli Hendrick recently reported on a study they did about the effects of apologizing – or not. Their findings were very interesting.  Apologizing often does make someone feel better. However, choosing not to apologize also makes a person feel better – and, often, better than they would have felt had they apologized.

Why? Because: “When you refuse to apologize, it actually makes you feel more empowered,” Okimoto said in an interview with NPR. “That power and control seems to translate into greater feelings of self-worth.”  This research reveals something powerful about human psychology and the power of being in control. It also might help us understand how we might better approach folks who we believe need to apologize. When we force people to apologize (as we often do with children), it makes them feel like they don’t have any power or self-control, that they are not in control of their choices. A forced apology is usually not very heartfelt and, thus, not meaningful.  Love and support, on the other hand, may lead folks to more freely and meaningfully apologize because they can work to heal a relationship without the threatening feelings of being forced.

Discussion Questions

• What do you think? When have you been forced to apologize? (“Say you’re sorry…or else!”) How does that feel?
• When you know you’ve done something wrong, what does it take to get you to say you’re sorry?
• When someone apologizes to you, can you tell whether they mean it or not? What difference does it make?

Scripture Texts (NRSV) for Sunday, April 14, 2013 (Third Sunday of Easter)

Acts 9:1-20

Revelation 5:11-14

John 21:1-19

(Text links are to Oremus Bible Browser. Oremus Bible Browser is not affiliated with or supported by the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. You can find the calendar of readings for Year C at Lectionary Readings.)

For lectionary humor and insight, check the weekly comic Agnus Day.

Gospel Reflection

At the end of this gospel story, Jesus pulls Peter aside for a private conversation. He asks him three times, “Do you love me?” And each time, when Peter replies that he does love Jesus, the risen Christ says (again, three times): “Feed/tend my lambs/sheep.” Then Jesus explains to Peter that if he decides to follow through on this command to tend the flock, life for Peter will be challenging and dangerous. He will not be in control of his own life. He will suffer. He will die before he is ready.

Letting that sink in for a moment, then Jesus invites Peter to “follow me.” What’s going on here?  Remember that not long ago Peter was given the opportunity to show his love for Jesus by publicly claiming to belong to him. Three times, as Jesus was on trial and being prepared for death, Peter was asked if he knew and followed Jesus. Three times, Peter denied it. He let his fear get the better of him.  Jesus died without the solace of knowing that one of his closest friends would be there for him when the road became difficult. Peter felt terrible about what he had done. Terrible times three.

Imagine, then, how Peter was feeling when all of a sudden Jesus shows up by the seaside. Imagine the guilt and shame churning in his stomach when Jesus pulls him aside for a private chat. He expected a reprimand; he deserved harsh judgment. What he got instead was another chance to be in loving relationship with Jesus. Another chance to share in his ministry. Another chance to be a disciple. Another chance to show that Jesus was worthy of love.

Instead of judgment, he received grace and a purpose. Three times.  And so it is with the rest of us. We show up to church with any number of reasons to feel guilty or ashamed. We have much to confess. We deny our love for Jesus as we give our love and allegiance to popularity, prosperity, success, politics… you name it.

What we get from Jesus is not judgment but love. He feeds us – and then calls us into a life of feeding others. He gives us chance after chance after chance to start over and slowly learn how to follow, how to love, how to live and die for something bigger than ourselves or our fears.  And thanks be to God for that. Amen.

Discussion Questions

• Why didn’t Jesus give Peter a “firm talking to”? Why didn’t he make him apologize? If you were Jesus, what would you want to say to Peter about what happened before, when he denied knowing you and left you alone when you needed him most?
• What happens next in Peter’s life is really quite remarkable. He lives a life of faithful discipleship, claiming the Name of Jesus, and he is killed for it. What gave him the strength to do that when before he was too weak or fearful to acknowledge even knowing Jesus?
• When have you deserved to be judged or forced to apologize? When have you been forgiven, whether you apologized or not?

Activity Suggestions

Write a letter to someone you have hurt or wronged. Write another letter to someone who has hurt or wronged you. (These letters can remain private; you don’t have to send them or share them with anyone.) If you could say whatever you wanted to that person, what would it be? Do you want to be forgiven? Do you want to forgive? Do you want to have a relationship with this person, or are you happy to just move on? What would it take to be back into a relationship as friends, family, or whatever?

When your letters are done, talk together as a group about what you wrote. Without sharing names or details, what feelings did you put into it? What actions would be a part of healing this relationship? How much of your letter was judgment, and how much was grace?

(Note: I don’t expect anyone to be totally full of grace and forgiveness and love all the time. That’s Jesus’ job. Thankfully he’s a lot better at it than most of us. The point is simply to explore the power of saying sorry—or not—and  the energy and work it takes to be in relationship with people when getting hurt is always a real possibility.)

Closing Prayer

Risen Christ, you are full of love—for me, for us, and for everyone. How do you do that? It is amazing that you could be so gracious and kind with people who really don’t deserve it. Thank you for loving us, in spite of all our faults, and teach us to slowly begin to learn from you how to love and forgive. Amen.

Contributed by Lindean Barnett Christianson, Bozeman, MT

Warm-up Question

• Do you have a nickname? What is it? Who gave it to you? Why? Do you like it? Why/why not?
• If you could change your name, what would you choose? Why?

What’s in a Name?

The cardinals of the Roman Catholic Church elected Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio to be the 266^th pope on March 13, 2013. Thousands of pilgrims and tourists crowded the square in front of St. Peter’s Basilica at the Vatican, waiting to learn not only who was elected, but also the name he would take for himself. Since the 11^th century it has been customary for a pope to choose a new name upon his election to the office (the first pope to take a new name was elected in the 6^th century).

The new pope, former archbishop of Buenos Aires, Argentina, was already known for his love for the poor and his own simple lifestyle. His choice of the name Francis, after St. Francis of Assisi, indicates his intention to continue his focus on and devotion to the poor.

In an interview with journalists from the Vatican and Latin America, Pope Francis said that as the votes stacked up in his favor, a fellow cardinal from Brazil told him , “Don’t forget the poor.”  The new pope added, “Right away, with regard to the poor, I thought of St. Francis of Assisi, then I thought of war. Francis loved peace and that is how the name came to me.”

The new pope said he also thought of St. Francis of Assisi’s concern for the natural environment and how he was a “poor man, a simple man, as we would like a poor church, for the poor.”

This is the first time a pope has chosen the name Francis, and many Catholics, and non-Catholics alike, are hoping Francis’ new name is an indicator of changes and reform to come.

Discussion Questions

• What do you know about St. Francis of Assisi?  If you need to do some research, look up the story of his life.  What would a congregation heavily influenced by his vision of faith look like?  How would taking his values seriously affect your life?
• The papal name Cardinal Borgoglio took has been seen as a reflection of his priorities as a Christian.  If you were elected pope what name would you take to reflect your understanding of what is important in being a Christian?  Why would you choose that name?  (The name need not be a famous one; you might pick “Fred” because of a custodian who embodies the gospel for you.)

Scripture Texts (NRSV) for Sunday, April 7, 2013 (Second Sunday of Easter)

Acts 5:27-32

Revelation 1:4-8

John 20:19-31

(Text links are to Oremus Bible Browser. Oremus Bible Browser is not affiliated with or supported by the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. You can find the calendar of readings for Year C at Lectionary Readings.)

For lectionary humor and insight, check the weekly comic Agnus Day.

Gospel Reflection

The Gospel according to John doesn’t tell us where Thomas was on the evening of that first day of the week, the day of resurrection. We only know where he wasn’t: in the locked room with the rest of the disciples. Jesus shows up, wounds and breath and all, but when his colleagues give him the play-by-play Thomas simply cannot believe it. He says he needs not only to see, but also to touch, Jesus, in order to believe.

For wanting to experience what the rest of the disciples experienced, Thomas has received the nickname “Doubting Thomas” from history. John never calls him that. According to John, Thomas’s nickname is “the Twin,” though the gospel doesn’t elaborate on why.

A week later Jesus gives Thomas what he asked for and Thomas confesses his faith: “My Lord and my God!” Here, the one who doubts is also the one who believes and proclaims. Jesus, however, does not commend Thomas for this confession. Instead, he pronounces a blessing on those “who have not seen and yet have come to believe,” on us.

Discussion Questions

• What nickname would you give Thomas? Why?
• Who has helped you come to faith in Jesus? How have they done that?
• What do you think about the phrase “Seeing is believing”?  How about its reverse, “Believing is seeing”?
• Gospel-writer John steps into his story when he addresses his readers and says, “These [signs] are written so that you may come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through believing you may have life in his name.” What do you think of this purpose statement?

Activity Suggestions

• Think of positive and encouraging nicknames for the people in your discussion group or others you all know (pastor, youth leader, etc.).
• Write thank you notes to those who have shared their faith in Christ with you (confirmation or Sunday School teachers, baptismal sponsors, mentors, etc.).
• Bless each other using Jesus’ words: Name, blessed are you who has not seen and yet has come to believe. Amen

Closing Prayer

God of new life, Jesus breathed the Holy Spirit into his disciples. Send your Spirit also to us, that we who have not seen yet may come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through believing we may have life in his name. Fill us with your peace, and send us into your world. Amen

Contributed by Sylvia Alloway, Granada Hills, CA

Warm-up Question

Have you ever been wrong about someone? Have you ever rejected a person as odd, stupid, or untrustworthy and later discovered that you were mistaken? What was the situation? What happened?

Treasure in Plain Sight

The white bowl with the pointy, leaf-like pattern shaped into it had sat on the mantle in a New York state home for several years. The family had paid three dollars for it at a tag sale. A belated curiosity about the trinket’s origin led the family to an assessor and a big surprise. Their humble little bowl was 1,000-year-old Chinese treasure, an example of “Ding” pottery from the Northern Song dynasty.

Given to the famous auction house Sotheby’s to sell, it was expected to fetch around $200,000. A bidding war among four art collectors resulted in a price ten times that much, $2.2 million.

Discussion Questions

• There is an old saying: He knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. What does this mean? What is the difference between price and value?
• Is there anything in your life that you value, even though it is not worth much money? What? Why?
• Think about what people without Christ value, compared to what Christians value. Is there a difference? What is it?

Scripture Texts (NRSV) for Sunday, March 31, 2013 (Resurrection of Our Lord Easter Day)

Acts 10:34-43

1 Corinthians 15:19-26

Luke 24:1-12

(Text links are to Oremus Bible Browser. Oremus Bible Browser is not affiliated with or supported by the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. You can find the calendar of readings for Year C at Lectionary Readings.)

For lectionary humor and insight, check the weekly comic Agnus Day.

Gospel Reflection

There are two Bible stories that are so familiar to Christians that we hardly pay attention to the words when we hear them. One is the story of Jesus birth, the other is the story of his resurrection. These two miracles are the heart of Christianity, special occasions in the church. We give thanks, sing some songs, and go about our business.

But think about these words: “There were in the same country shepherds, abiding in the fields, keeping watch over their flocks by night.”

Um, yeah. So?

Shepherds were considered unclean by upper class Jews. They were not invited into homes. They were not allowed to testify in court. They were outcasts. Yet, these despised people were the first to hear about Jesus’ birth. God valued them and their strong, simple faith. He entrusted them with the news of his Son’s arrival. Sure enough, they ran to tell anyone they could find that the Messiah was born.

In today’s lesson we read the familiar story of the women finding the empty tomb. Women, too, were outcasts, thought inferior to men. Women, too, could not testify in court, because they would not be believed. (Notice how the disciples react when they hear the women’s testimony.) Yet God again chooses outcasts as the first to behold the culmination of his great plan of salvation, the greatest event in the history of the world. Again he gives them a message to tell. He shows how much he values those whom the world rejects.

God does not choose people who think they are worth more than others to spread the news of his salvation. He values the humble, the willing, the faithful, as if they were million-dollar treasures. He paid for them, for us, a price immeasurably greater than money. He paid with his lifeblood.

Let us run and tell!

Discussion Questions

• In today’s world humility is not considered a very valuable trait. Why is this so?
• What is the value of humility? What can humble people accomplish that those who think they are great can’t?
• Christians are often considered outcasts in the non-Christian world. How can we follow the example of the shepherds and the women in telling others the Good News?

Activity Suggestions

•  Think of a way the class can tell the Good News of Christ’s resurrection. Do it.
• Talk about what makes a person an outcast among young people. How we can value outcasts and not reject them as the world does?
• Sing any resurrection song

Closing Prayer

God of the humble, Savior of the outcast, we ask for true humility. Convict us when we put someone down or leave someone out. May the joy of your salvation fill us so that others can see and know that there is hope in you. In Our Savior’s Holy Name, Amen.

Contributed by David Dodson, Fort Walton Beach, FL

Warm-up Question

Do you think that the way we dress or present ourselves reflects our personalities?

Fit for a King

A few months ago, a fairly small story surfaced about British Princess Kate Middleton and reality TV show star Kim Kardashian.  That these two women would be involved in a single story is surprising enough – they are about as different as possible!

Kate Middleton recently married Prince William, becoming a Princess and the Duchess of Cambridge herself.  She has widely been regarded as a wonderful person to fill that role.  She has a warm smile and a very classy style that many British citizens have expressed great approval of.  Kim Kardashian, on the other hand, is best known as a reality TV star and frequently finds herself on the front of tabloids.  Her fashion style is known for its flashiness and frequent immodesty.

Our story happens when those worlds collide.  Kim Kardashian sent Kate Middleton a gift of several outfits from a fashion line she designs called Kardashian Konnection.  Kate politely thanked Kim for the gift, but sent the clothing back, stating that she preferred not to accept free gifts in her position as Duchess.

Many fashion commentators have claimed that the outfits were likely sent back mostly because of their style.  The Kardashian Kollection is characterized by low necklines, short dress lengths, and other features that the Duchess of Cambridge seems to absolutely avoid.

Discussion Questions

• Have you ever received a gift that you were not sure what to do with?
• What do you think about Kate Middleton’s decision to return the gift?
• Based on what you know, do you think that Kate Middleton is a good role model and example in her country?

Scripture Texts (NRSV) for Sunday, March 24, 2013 (Sunday of the Passion/Palm Sunday)

Isaiah 50:4-9a

Philippians 2:5-11

Luke 19:28-40

(Text links are to Oremus Bible Browser. Oremus Bible Browser is not affiliated with or supported by the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. You can find the calendar of readings for Year C at Lectionary Readings.)

For lectionary humor and insight, check the weekly comic Agnus Day.

Gospel Reflection

We often use royal language when speaking of Jesus.  We refer to Him as the Prince of Peace, the King of Kings, and the scion of the royal line of David.  But if we really want to understand Jesus’ kingship, we are going to need to reexamine how we define royalty.

Throughout the Gospels, we see Jesus constantly turning royal imagery on its head.  It begins with His birth.  Consider the story of the nativity:  When Jesus is born, shepherds and wise men travel from far and near to bow before Him and present Him with gifts.  This is precisely what would have happened with the birth of an earthly prince.  The child of a king would be visited by honored guests and presented with the best gifts after his birth.  With the birth of Jesus, however, it isn’t the richest and most powerful who are invited to the court of the newborn King.  Rather, it is the lowly shepherds and the foreign wise men.  Already, Jesus is an unorthodox King – his court is made up of the poor and foreign!

As if to emphasize the point, when Jesus makes his triumphant entry into Jerusalem, He does so in an unusual way.  An earthly king, arriving in a city as a conqueror, would ride on the back of a magnificent mount (usually a stallion), showing off his power and wealth and demanding adoration from the people.  With Jesus, the King of Kings, things are a bit different.  Jesus rides in with great triumph, cheered on by the adoring crowd, but not on a beautiful horse.  As predicted in Zechariah 9:9, Jesus arrives instead “humble and riding on a donkey”.

What?  A donkey?  Why would the greatest King the world has ever known choose to make his triumphant march into Jerusalem on the back of a lowly donkey?

Perhaps this is a message to us.  Our Lord and Savior humbled himself in lowly birth in a manger, rode into Jerusalem on the back of a donkey and “humbled himself… even [to] death on a cross” (Philippians 2).  Jesus was concerned with something far, far more important than the appearance of greatness.  Instead, His mission was to those who needed him the most – the poor, the lame, the outcast, and those who felt that God’s love was too far away to reach.

If Jesus could humble Himself to serve those in need in the world, then we are certainly called to follow his example.  If you want to find Jesus, open your heart to a world in need – you will find Jesus there!

Discussion Questions

• How would the Gospels have been different if Jesus had insisted on being treated like an earthly king?
• How can you show the humble love taught to us by Jesus in your daily life?

Activity Suggestions

Use resources available on the ELCA website (such as those at https://community.elca.org/sslpage.aspx?pid=607)  to plan an Alternative Gift Fair.  In these events, congregational members can make donations on the behalf of a friend or family member, and this donation is offered as an “alternative gift” to that person.  Many congregations find that these often make the most meaningful gifts they receive all year!

Closing Prayer

Heavenly Father, help us to be your eyes in the world, looking out for those who are struggling or lost.  Help us to be your feet in the world, carrying your message of love and good news to all of your people.  Help us to be your ears, listening to the needs of those around us daily.  And help us to be your hands, reaching out in joyous love to our brothers and sisters.  Amen.

Contributed by Dennis Sepper, Tacoma, WA

Warm-up Question

What is the most expensive gift you ever received?  Who gave it to you?  How did it make you feel when you received it?

Extravagant Love

Nine-year-old Henry, of Newport, Kentucky, is currently battling Non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma.  The Make-A-Wish Foundation will provide Henry an escape from his medical treatments as he meets with his heroes.

Henry’s wish is to see the cast of his favorite television show, Animal Planet’s “Tanked”.  Tanked is a program that features two Las Vegas businessmen who build wildly imaginative tanks and aquariums.  Henry will meet the stars of the program, Wayde King and Brett Raymer, and get a behind the scenes look at some of their work.

Make-A-Wish Ohio, Kentucky and Indiana fulfilled 865 wishes in the last program year.

(Contributor’s note:  If you have a local Make-A-Wish story or even one for your state, I would suggest using that story instead of Henry’s.)

Discussion Questions

• What were you thinking about as you read the story of Henry?  How did you feel?
• According to their website (www.wish.org) the Make-A-Wish Foundation “grants the wishes of children with life-threatening medical conditions to enrich the human experience with hope, strength and joy.”  Make-A-Wish grants a wish somewhere in the country every 38 minutes.   What do you think about organizations like Make-A-Wish?  Is their work helpful and meaningful?
• Is it possible that the dollars spent on fulfilling the wishes of the children might be better spent on, say, cancer research?

Scripture Texts (NRSV) for Sunday, March 17, 2013 (Fifth Sunday or Lent)

Isaiah 43:16-21

Philippians 3:4b-14

John 12:1-8

(Text links are to Oremus Bible Browser. Oremus Bible Browser is not affiliated with or supported by the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. You can find the calendar of readings for Year C at Lectionary Readings.)

For lectionary humor and insight, check the weekly comic Agnus Day.

Gospel Reflection

While I am a huge fan of the Make-A-Wish Foundation, I have to admit that I understand the point Judas makes in regards to this Gospel text from John…at least at first.  As you heard or read, Mary took a pound of perfume costing some three hundred denarii and anointed Jesus’ feet with it, so much so that the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume.  To put the cost of the perfume in perspective, my Bible has a footnote which says that a day’s wage at the time of Jesus was one denarius, so Mary’s 300 denarii perfume would be worth almost an entire year’s wages.  According to the U.S. Census Bureau the median household income in the U.S was just over $50,000 in 2011.  Now just imagine someone going out, buying a $50,000 bottle of perfume and then pouring it over someone’s feet.  It just doesn’t make sense!  It just isn’t right!  Certainly the money could have been used for the poor or some other good cause.

However, consider the context of this act of Mary and one can see how she may have been moved to not count the cost of her perfume.  Just one chapter earlier (John 11:1-44) Jesus had raised Mary’s brother Lazarus from the dead…from the dead!  At this dinner in Jesus honor we are told that Lazarus was at the table with Jesus and Mary and Martha.  How could Mary not look at her beloved brother who was once dead and not feel a very deep and abiding love for the one who raised him from the dead?

What is more, we are told that this dinner took place “six days before the Passover.”  That may seem insignificant but in John’s gospel it is on this Passover day that Jesus is crucified.  This meal is Jesus last supper, not with his disciples, but with his best friends.  We also know from the Gospel writer Luke that Mary was a very good student and disciple of Jesus (Luke 10:38-42).  Perhaps Mary connected the dots and knew that Jesus was determined to go to Jerusalem and that things could go badly there.  It seems that Jesus thought so when he said “Leave her alone.  She bought it [the expensive perfume] so that she might keep it for the day of my burial.”

It was out of an extravagant love that Mary poured the expensive perfume over Jesus’ feet and then wiped his feet with her hair.  It was a custom of those times for the women to anoint a dead person with perfume.  Mary’s great love for Jesus caused her not to count the costs.

And Mary was right.  For six days later, Jesus would show extravagant love for the world by giving up his life on the cross.  In the life, death and resurrection of Jesus you and I have been forgiven and set free from sin.  We have been given a new life in Jesus Christ.  How can we possibly give rightful thanks for all that God and Jesus have done for us?

So, while indeed Judas may have a point concerning the expense of the perfume, Judas couldn’t grasp what was going on in the moment.  Judas had no understanding of the depth of Mary’s love for Jesus or of the love Jesus had for all people.  Sometimes we have to do the extravagant even when it seems crazy by worldly standards.

Discussion Questions

• What was your first reaction to Mary’s anointing Jesus’ feet?  Was it okay for you or do you think the money could have been better spent?
• Has anyone ever sacrificed something for you (such as time, money, something significant)?
• Has anything motivated you to give more (time/talents/treasure) then you intended because you were so moved?
• What possession do you most treasure?  Can you imagine ever giving it away for another person?

Activity Suggestions

There are many stories of extravagant love in the Bible.  Choose one or more of the following examples and either act out the scene or create a contemporary version of the story.

• Abraham is willing to sacrifice his son Isaac (Genesis 22:1-18)
• The Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32)
• The Widow’s Mite (Mark 12:41-44 or Luke 21:1-4)
• Joseph forgiving his brothers (Genesis 50:15-21)
• The Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37)

Closing Prayer

All merciful God, as we come to this Fifth Sunday in Lent we begin to see Jesus’ determination to go to Jerusalem and to the cross.  Open our eyes and minds and hearts to the depth of your love for us.  We can never repay the debt we owe to Jesus but we can, by the power of the Holy Spirit, commit our lives and all that we have to showing forth your extravagant love to others.  In the name of Jesus we pray.  Amen.