{"id":2872,"date":"2011-10-05T07:59:46","date_gmt":"2011-10-05T12:59:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.elca.org\/faithlens\/?p=2872"},"modified":"2011-10-06T10:29:08","modified_gmt":"2011-10-06T15:29:08","slug":"october-9-2011-homecoming%e2%80%a6-going-out-or-coming-home","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.elca.org\/faithlens\/october-9-2011-homecoming%e2%80%a6-going-out-or-coming-home\/","title":{"rendered":"October 9, 2011–Homecoming\u2026 Going out? Or Coming Home?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Contributed by Jay McDivitt, Mequon, WI<\/p>\n

WE HAVE HAD TECHNOLOGY ISSUES OF LATE.\u00a0\u00a0 APOLOGIES TO THOSE WHO WERE EAGERLY AWAITING FAITH LENS<\/p>\n

Warm-up Question<\/h3>\n

When were you happy to be invited to a party or dance, or asked out on a date? When have you been disappointed not<\/em> to be asked? [It\u2019s okay \u2013 we\u2019ve all been there\u2026 but if you like, you can tell a story about \u2018a friend of yours\u2019 instead.]<\/p>\n

Homecoming\u2026 Going out? Or Coming Home?<\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/a>In my corner of the country, it\u2019s \u201chomecoming\u201d season. I assume that\u2019s true most everywhere in the US.\u00a0 High school or college, this is the time for parades, football games, dances, parties\u2026 and lots of expectations and pressure.<\/p>\n

Now in my early 30s, I honestly can\u2019t remember all the people I went to homecoming, prom, or other important dances with when I was in school. Sometimes I went with a date, sometimes a group of friends, and sometimes I didn\u2019t go at all. I probably have pictures somewhere that could help me construct a list of my \u201cdates\u201d (I only remember going to a dance once <\/em>with someone I was actually \u201cdating\u201d), but some of those might bring back faint memories at best.<\/p>\n

I do, however, remember every one of the people I asked who turned me down. Maybe it\u2019s just me, but it seems like rejection<\/em> is one of the most powerful experiences we can have. We all want to belong<\/em>. Even if we take pride in being different<\/em> (as I have many times in my life and still do), we like to be different together<\/em> with other folks who choose not to fit in. Very few people live happy and rewarding lives being always and forever on the outside<\/em>.<\/p>\n

And yet, this world never tires of finding ways of making us feel like we don\u2019t belong \u2013 like we\u2019re not good enough, popular enough, rich enough, beautiful enough. This is<\/em> especially true in adolescence, but [spoiler alert] it certainly doesn\u2019t end there.<\/p>\n

So, back to my homecoming dates or lack thereof.\u00a0 \u00a0I remember like it was yesterday writing a very heartfelt note [we didn\u2019t have texting then] to a girl I really<\/em> liked, asking her to homecoming. I knew she didn\u2019t have a date yet. It was only polite that she should accept, right? But no. In front of a whole group of her very popular friends, she laughed and said, \u201cKeep dreaming.\u201d<\/p>\n

In retrospect, I\u2019m glad she said no. We now live very<\/em> different lives \u2013 and I\u2019m very happy with the life and family I have today. But in that moment, I was devastated. And although I have little interest in knowing where she is today or what would have happened if she\u2019d said \u201cyes,\u201d I still remember her name, the words she said, the laughter of her friends, and the piercing hurt I felt in that moment of rejection.<\/p>\n

I also, however, remember the life-changing feeling I felt when the person to whom I am now privileged to be married said \u201cyes.\u201d Yes<\/em> to an invitation to coffee. Yes<\/em> to dinner. Yes<\/em> to a life together. Yes<\/em> to being parents together.<\/p>\n

Such little words: \u201cyes\u201d and \u201cno.\u201d But in huge and tiny ways, these words make all the difference.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Discussion Questions<\/h3>\n