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January 31, 2016, The Pain of Rejection

Ellen Rothweiler, Des Moines, IA

Warm-up Question

What do you do when you experience pain?

The Pain of Rejection

shutterstock_345688478(1) Rejection is something most of us have experienced in our life. But, did you know that the brain experiences rejection as a form of physical pain? So breaking your arm and being rejected by your peers can have similar responses in the brain and can feel equally painful!
Studies have shown that children and teens often experience real and lingering pain of rejection more keenly than others. These feelings of rejection can impact the child’s overall health, both physically and socially. In a study done by Mark Leary, PhD, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Duke University, 15 cases of school shooters were analyzed and he discovered all but two suffered from social rejection. His research published in the journal Aggressive Behavior says, “Ostracized people sometimes become aggressive and can turn to violence.”
This pain, like any physical pain, can often take time to recover from and cause other issues if not dealt with. It is important that we pay attention to our emotional health and be aware of the impact that rejection can have on others.

Discussion Questions

  • Share a time when you have felt rejected.
  • Share a time when you have rejected someone.
  • Does the relationship you have with someone impact how you respond to being rejected by them? Explain.

Fourth Sunday After Epiphany

Jeremiah 1:4-10

1 Corinthians 13:1-13

Luke 4:21-30
(Text links are to Oremus Bible Browser. Oremus Bible Browser is not affiliated with or supported by the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. You can find the calendar of readings for Year B at Lectionary Readings
For lectionary humor and insight, check the weekly comic Agnus Day.

Gospel Reflection

In this passage from the Gospel of Luke, Jesus is preaching and teaching in his hometown. The crowd is full of people who have known him most of his life and see him as the son of Joseph. People’s worth was often measured by their parentage in the ancient Hebrew culture so that was an important part of his identity. The people were proud of him, excited to hear what he had to say. That is, until he said something that was difficult for them to hear. Then, they ran him out of town!
It is funny how precarious acceptance can be, especially with people who think they know all about you. You can feel like a well-liked part of a group and then you share an opinion that is not popular and you find yourself on the outside, rejected.
It is important to take note of how Jesus responded to this rejection. In verse 30 it says “but he passed through the midst of them and went on his way.” Jesus seems unaffected by this rejection. He predicted they would respond this way in verse 24 “….no prophet is accepted in the prophet’s hometown”. Jesus, being both fully human and fully divine may have felt this rejection as we do, but he had things to do. He was on a mission. We too, have a calling in life that God has given us. Sometimes rejection can be that thing that pushes us forward but that does not mean it is not painful. Often the pain of rejection can bring a new sense of identity. Jesus was not only Joseph’s son but the Son of God sent to redeem the world.

Discussion Questions

  • Why do you think that Jesus said “no prophet is accepted in the prophet’s hometown”?
  • List three words that describe your identity.
  • What groups/people have an impact on your identity?

Activity Suggestion

As a group share qualities that you see in each other. Have each group member share three things they have noticed about the character of the person to their right. This should be a time of affirmation not criticism. As the leader of the group, take time to reflect back the qualities you hear that you see influencing each participants identity.

Closing Prayer

Lord we thank you for claiming us as your children in baptism. We know that this is our primary identity and that you will never reject us. Please be with us when we feel rejected by others and we pray for those who do not feel accepted by or connected to a community. Help us to welcome them and show them your love.
Amen

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November 19-26, 2008 – Nebraska “Safe Haven” law leads to teen abandonments

Warm-up Question: What circumstances do you think might lead a parent of a teenager to abandon or give up that child?



A Nebraska law meant to allow parents to legally abandon newborns at hospitals has instead led parents to drop off over a dozen teenagers since its passage in July. To date, 20 of the 33 children dropped off at Nebraska hospitals have been teens, including a now-missing 17 year old girl who fled after being dropped off with her younger brother. Eight more children dropped off were 11 or 12 years of age.


Lawmakers are set to convene this week to rewrite the law, excluding all children except infants up to 3 days old from being legally abandoned. Since lawmakers announced plans to rewrite the law, the rate of teen drop-offs has increased as desperate parents sense their time running out.

Safe haven laws exist in every state to prevent prosecution of parents who abandon newborns outside safe public places like hospitals, but Nebraska is the only state without an age limit. Lawmakers could not agree on an age limit when writing the law, so it was passed with just the word “child.”

One mother of an 18 year old stated that she thought her daughter would receive help if she turned her over to the state. The daughter had a mental health condition and had been cutting school, stealing, fighting, and sleeping around. Because of her age, however, the teen had to return home with her mother.

“These are largely families at a point of incredible desperation,” said Wayne Sensor, chief executive of Alegent Health hospitals, where 14 children have been left. “They aren’t bad parents or bad kids. They simply don’t know what services are available out there.”

Discussion Questions

  • Do you think parents should be able to give their kids to the state if they can’t handle them (or think they can’t)? What arguments for and against this can you think of. What types of behaviors do you think might warrant government intervention in a young person’s life?
  • What kind of help might a high school age youth get from a government agency that they can’t get from their parents?
  • What would be your advice to a parent whose child is in serious trouble? What would you suggest they do?
  • Do you think God keeps track of what we do, our motivations, our good deeds, or our sins?

Scripture Texts (NRSV) for Sunday, November 23, 2008.
(Text links are to oremus Bible Browser. Oremus Bible Browser is not affiliated with or supported by the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. You can find the calendar of readings for Year A at Lectionary Readings.)

For lectionary humor and insight, check the weekly comic Agnus Day.

Gospel Reflection

When I read this passage the first time, I didn’t understand it. After all, Jesus seemed to be saying that we had to minister to the poor and needy (“the least of these”) in order to get into heaven. This seemed to conflict with other scriptures stating that the only thing necessary to have eternal life was to accept Jesus and believed in him. It was “faith verses works,” if you’ve heard that talked about before. God’s grace saves us through our faith, not through anything we do. We can’t work our way into heaven.

Feeling confused, I looked up a commentary on these verses to get an “expert” opinion. What I read gave me an entirely different perspective on these verses.

I assumed, and probably had heard preached before, that the “least of these” that Jesus talked about only referred to the poor. But the commentary said that when Jesus says “the least of these,” he was talking about the treatment of his disciples and all the messengers of his good news in the world. In other words, how people treat the messengers of the good news and how they receive the gospel determines how God will judge them.

Our salvation is definitely a free gift — not something we have to work for or accomplish. A gift does need to be accepted or received though. If we accept that gift, we experience the blessings of God’s kingdom — a kingdom that begins here on earth, right now.

The gospel certainly calls for us to care for people living in poverty or hunger, people being treated unjustly, and others in need. The Bible talks about how necessary service and ministry are to have at the center of our lives, and that it is a responsibility of the church and all people; it’s just not our ticket to heaven. Jesus has done that already, and there’s nothing else we need to do other than accept his gift of love and forgiveness… and start living it in relationship with other people right now.

Discussion Questions

  • Have you ever done a good deed thinking it would win you favor or points with God? What was it you did?
  • When someone tries to talk to you about Jesus and the gift of salvation, how do you respond or feel?
  • How do you feel about talking to other people about Jesus and the gift of salvation? What do think is important to say, and to demonstrate with your actions and behavior?

Activity Suggestions

Find someone in your church who is a “messenger of the gospel.” This could be your pastor, choir director, youth leader, a Sunday school teacher, young person, old person, or a layperson involved in mission work, for example.

Choose one of the following:

  • Interview your chosen person about his or her experiences with sharing the gospel of Jesus. How has she or he been received and treated? What makes that ministry most difficult? What are the joys involved? As a group, write an article about this person. Publish your article online, in the church newsletter, or in a worship bulletin.
  • Ask what your group can do to support the ministry of your chosen person. Perhaps you can help with preparations for a Sunday school class or for youth group time, put together care packages with a mission worker, or prepare a skit or song to reinforce a pastor’s Sunday morning message.

Closing Prayer

O Lord our God, we pray that you would strengthen all your messengers across the world who share the gospel of Jesus with others. We thank you for their service to you and we pray that they would be treated well and provided for. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.


Contributed by Jennifer Krausz
Bethlehem, PA

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September 17-24, 2008 – Gift of a job changes a life

Warm-up Question: What would you do with $100 if someone just handed it to you, no questions asked?

For people who are in trouble, a job can sometimes be real salvation for them. The money definitely helps. We all need money to pay for food and shelter. But at least as important as the money is the sense of accomplishment that comes from having a job, from succeeding at something, from earning something.

Read this story of a former gang member, Antonio, who escaped a life of violence, drug abuse, and crime, in part because someone was willing to take a risk and give him a job. http://www.mercedsunstar.com/167/story/443711.html This was a turning point in his life that gave him hope in the midst of what some people call a “cloud of hopelessness” among many young people living in poverty.

It has taken more than just a job to get Antonio out of his gang life; the job came along with a support network, people to talk with him, check in with him, and to pray with him. But it does seem to be working for him.

The director of a program and ministry with former gang members can’t hide his enthusiasm for the positive changes that have already taken place in Antonio’s life. “The rewards are far beyond what I expected,” he comments. “Here’s a guy that came with a felony and is now talking about getting out on his own, and he’s paying taxes. You can’t help but get excited about that.”

In the meantime, Antonio says he is taking his life “day by day.” Although his old friends still want to “hang out,” he acknowledges that it would not be the best thing. “I’ve got too much going for me to lose it,” he said.

Can anyone be sure he’ll stay away from his earlier life of crime? “You can’t. It’s all up to me. Either I want to or not,” he said. “But I have faith in God that everything is going to work out for me.”

Discussion Questions

  • Based on your experiences, observing young people around you, or the experiences of your friends, what kinds of things do people turn to or do when they are starving for support, a sense of identity and recognition, to belong to a community, or even just trying to survive day-to-day?
  • What are the reasons that employers might be unwilling to hire someone like Antonio?
  • What can the church do for people like Antonio? (Are there things your own congregation is doing for young people living in poverty, gang members, or young people who are having problems with the law

Scripture Texts (NRSV) for Sunday, September 21, 2008.
(Text links are to oremus Bible Browser. Oremus Bible Browser is not affiliated with or supported by the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. You can find the calendar of readings for Year A at Lectionary Readings.)

For lectionary humor and insight, check the weekly comic Agnus Day.

Gospel Reflection

In today’s Gospel lesson, Jesus tells a parable about an employer (vineyard owner) who ran his company quite a bit differently than most employers. He went out and hired people four different times during the day, including the last group at 5:00 — close to quitting time. Anyone who had not been hired by 5:00 and was still looking for work was probably two things: not a very desirable employee and desperate for work. This employer hired them all! Then he did the strangest thing of all, he paid them all the same amount of money, no matter how long they had worked.

In verse 15, Jesus describes the employer saying to the grumbling, angry workers who had been hired early in the day, “Am I not allowed to do what I choose with what belongs to me? Or are you envious because I am generous?” In other words, the employer has the right to be generous, even ridiculously generous, with his own money and resources.

So what’s the point of this story that hardly seems fair by our standards? Jesus is comparing the employer to God who gives us WAY more than we have earned or deserve. Why? Because God wants to… because God can. God’s sense of justice and love can seem kind of crazy compared to our own!

Discussion Questions

  • What is the greatest thing you have ever received that you know you did not deserve?
  • How did receiving that generosity make you act toward others?
  • When you consider the world, who would you have the greatest difficulty being generous to? Loving? Forgiving? Seeing as an equal? (Go back and talk about the twist in Jesus’ story: loving those we’d prefer to hate; being generous with those we’d like to see suffer.)

Activity Suggestions

Learn about and offer support for a prison or rehabilitation ministry in your community or state. Contact your Lutheran Social Services office to find out what they do for prisoners or those just released from prison. Find out how you can help.

Closing Prayer

Generous God, we thank you that you give to us, and to everyone, far more than we could ever deserve or earn through our own work or effort. Inspire gratitude and generosity in us, even when we are reluctant or afraid to be so. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen

Contributed by Pastor Seth Moland-Kovash
All Saints Lutheran Church
Palatine, IL

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