Ellen Rothweiler, Des Moines, IA

Warm-up Question

What do you do when you experience pain?

The Pain of Rejection

Rejection is something most of us have experienced in our life. But, did you know that the brain experiences rejection as a form of physical pain? So breaking your arm and being rejected by your peers can have similar responses in the brain and can feel equally painful!
Studies have shown that children and teens often experience real and lingering pain of rejection more keenly than others. These feelings of rejection can impact the child’s overall health, both physically and socially. In a study done by Mark Leary, PhD, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Duke University, 15 cases of school shooters were analyzed and he discovered all but two suffered from social rejection. His research published in the journal Aggressive Behavior says, “Ostracized people sometimes become aggressive and can turn to violence.”
This pain, like any physical pain, can often take time to recover from and cause other issues if not dealt with. It is important that we pay attention to our emotional health and be aware of the impact that rejection can have on others.

Discussion Questions

• Share a time when you have felt rejected.
• Share a time when you have rejected someone.
• Does the relationship you have with someone impact how you respond to being rejected by them? Explain.

Fourth Sunday After Epiphany

Jeremiah 1:4-10

1 Corinthians 13:1-13

Luke 4:21-30
(Text links are to Oremus Bible Browser. Oremus Bible Browser is not affiliated with or supported by the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. You can find the calendar of readings for Year B at Lectionary Readings
For lectionary humor and insight, check the weekly comic Agnus Day.

Gospel Reflection

In this passage from the Gospel of Luke, Jesus is preaching and teaching in his hometown. The crowd is full of people who have known him most of his life and see him as the son of Joseph. People’s worth was often measured by their parentage in the ancient Hebrew culture so that was an important part of his identity. The people were proud of him, excited to hear what he had to say. That is, until he said something that was difficult for them to hear. Then, they ran him out of town!
It is funny how precarious acceptance can be, especially with people who think they know all about you. You can feel like a well-liked part of a group and then you share an opinion that is not popular and you find yourself on the outside, rejected.
It is important to take note of how Jesus responded to this rejection. In verse 30 it says “but he passed through the midst of them and went on his way.” Jesus seems unaffected by this rejection. He predicted they would respond this way in verse 24 “….no prophet is accepted in the prophet’s hometown”. Jesus, being both fully human and fully divine may have felt this rejection as we do, but he had things to do. He was on a mission. We too, have a calling in life that God has given us. Sometimes rejection can be that thing that pushes us forward but that does not mean it is not painful. Often the pain of rejection can bring a new sense of identity. Jesus was not only Joseph’s son but the Son of God sent to redeem the world.

Discussion Questions

• Why do you think that Jesus said “no prophet is accepted in the prophet’s hometown”?
• List three words that describe your identity.
• What groups/people have an impact on your identity?

Activity Suggestion

As a group share qualities that you see in each other. Have each group member share three things they have noticed about the character of the person to their right. This should be a time of affirmation not criticism. As the leader of the group, take time to reflect back the qualities you hear that you see influencing each participants identity.

Closing Prayer

Lord we thank you for claiming us as your children in baptism. We know that this is our primary identity and that you will never reject us. Please be with us when we feel rejected by others and we pray for those who do not feel accepted by or connected to a community. Help us to welcome them and show them your love.
Amen

It seemed like a typical Wednesday at Waukee High School. Maddie and Kaitlyn met before school at their lockers. They talked about their weekend plans. Both had planned to go out to dinner together then go to the Friday night football game. Kaitlyn was excited to talk to Maddie about the post-game party at Adrienne’s house. When she brought up the subject she could quickly recognize the look on Maddie’s face. Maddie hadn’t been invited to the post-game party. Maddie shrugged it off as no big deal and that she had to be home early on Friday anyway because of a commitment early on Saturday morning. She lied so Kaitlyn wouldn’t feel bad. The bell rang, the awkward moment ended, and the friends departed to their first classes.

Maddie spent the rest of the day in personal despair. She asked herself many questions about why she didn’t get invited. Did Adrienne not like her? Had she done something to offend her? They weren’t really that close anyway, how could she expect Adrienne to invite her? She was even a bit mad at Kaitlyn for being invited, but she realized it wasn’t her fault. Not being invited caused Maddie to feel rejection and a lack of acceptance. Her feelings were hurt. She went home and cried.

The weekend came and went. Maddie went home after the football game and her friend, Kaitlyn, headed to the post-game party. Maddie eventually got over it, but never forgot the feeling. She tried to keep this in mind when she saw others not being invited to events that she was invited to.

Discussion Questions

• Have you ever not been invited to something you wanted to go to? Have you ever been invited to something you didn’t want to go to?
• What do you think Kaitlyn felt when she learned that Maddie wasn’t invited?
• How do you think you would have responded?
• What can we do as Christians to invite others?

Scripture Texts (NRSV) for Sunday, October 12, 2008.
(Text links are to oremus Bible Browser. Oremus Bible Browser is not affiliated with or supported by the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. You can find the calendar of readings for Year A at Lectionary Readings.)

• Isaiah 25:1-9
• Psalm 23 (5)
• Philippians 4:1-9
• Matthew 22:1-14

For lectionary humor and insight, check the weekly comic Agnus Day.

Scripture Reflection

In the Gospel, Jesus tells the story of a king who gave a wedding banquet for his son. He sends out the message to those who he hopes will come. His messengers depart to go and tell them that the feast is ready. The king’s invited guests respond in different ways. Some ignore his invitation, some leave, some go about their business, and some even mistreat the messengers inviting them to the banquet. The king realizes that those who he has invited are unworthy and sends his messengers to gather people from the streets and fill the hall with guests; making those who seem unworthy, worthy.

Christ invites us all into the banquet of heaven with him. What a great and generous invitation! It feels so good to be invited. Christ gives us this invitation into a relationship with him yet many people turn down the invitation of the Holy Spirit to live their lives alongside Jesus and guided by him. When Christ is trying to speak to you how do you respond? Do you continue about your business? Do you ignore it or leave? Do you mistreat those who may be speaking the good news to you, just because you don’t want to hear it?

Acceptance and love is something that all people crave at the core of their being. With Christ, acceptance and love are continuously extended to us. As Christians, we are invited to share this acceptance with others. We have the opportunity to live fearlessly, knowing that we are loved and part of Christ’s kingdom. We are accepted by Christ and never rejected. Living fearlessly through our acceptance gives us the courage to share the good news with others, including — and especially — people in need of hope, healing, God’s love, and new life.

Discussion Questions

• What is one way Christ speaks to your heart?
• How do you respond to his invitation?
• Do you think that living a life of acceptance in Christ enables us to live fearlessly? What things in life can cause us to back away from living our faith boldly, fearlessly? What things or people stir up our strength and courage of faith to live fearlessly?

Activity Suggestion

• Have an intergenerational congregational birthday party. Send out invitations for all ages. Assign people to sit at intergenerational and family-mixed tables based on the month of their birth. Have a devotion led by different age people, play games, eat cake, and celebrate the diversity of life experiences.
• Send letters to your congregation’s shut-ins. Offer an invitation to go and visit them. Go visit!

Closing Prayer

Blessed Savior, thank you for inviting us to your kingdom. Help us to remember to invite others, knowing that there are great gifts and blessings in this invitation. Bless those who feel like they live their lives on the fringe or are rejected or disconnected. Enable us to extend graciousness and generosity to their lives. In your name we pray. Amen

Contributed by Angie Larson
Clive, IA