While grieving may be painful, we must realize that it is a part of life. And the God that we serve is too wise to make mistakes. So when death comes in our lives, we should accept it as our season. It is a time to reflect on the life of our loved one, the good times, the bad times, the joys and the pains. A time to remember the impact he or she made in our life.

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance. (Ecclesiastes 3:1-4)

It is also a time to reconnect with family members and friends. Death has a way of putting us in contact with people we haven’t seen since the last funeral. But the next time death darkens your door, instead of going on with life as usual, make an effort to reach out to the people you care about. Let them know how you feel about them and what they mean to you. You never know, this might be the last time you see them.

And finally, it is a time to re-examine your relationship with God. Often times we become angry with God when we lose a loved one. We leave the church and cut ties with members in the congregation. Does alienating ourselves from the church help? No. Cutting ties to God and the church is not the answer.

Women of the ELCA has created a resource to help you in your grieving process. If you’ve lost a loved one and you’re finding it difficult to move on, go to our website and check out The Faces of Grief. May it be a blessing to you.

Deborah Powell is the associate executive director of Women of the ELCA.

Let me start by saying I do not consider myself a blogger, but yet here I am, writing my third blog entry. Why? Because someone saw some potential in me and invited me to write!

Last year, the Altar Guild that I serve on held its second letter-writing campaign in six years to personally invite women of our congregation to join us. Both campaigns yielded about a half-dozen new members, and these women joined simply because someone saw their value as an Altar Guild member and asked them to join!

As I think back even farther, I realize that my years of service on my own synodical board (12 out of 14 years!) was due, both times, to invitations I received from someone to submit my name into nomination. Someone saw something in me that I hadn’t yet seen myself, and that was just the push I needed to get involved.

I also serve on the executive board for Women of the ELCA. True, I had to be elected by a majority of my peers to be in this position, but how did my name end up on a ballot in the first place? It is because somebody saw my potential and invited me to submit my name into nomination.

So now, back to the present: I am thinking a lot these days about how powerful invitations can be. I have had a dream for the past year or so to get new women in my congregation interested in Women of the ELCA, and so I have chosen February 26 (Bold Women’s Day) to hold an information session at church for them. There will be a general invitation in the church bulletin, of course, but I will also personally invite about a dozen women from a list I have been putting together over the past year.

It is my hope that the personal invitation these women receive will be just as powerful for them as the ones I’ve received in the past were. The invitations I received gave me new ways to act boldly on my Christian faith. I hope my invitation to these women, to come and explore what Women of the ELCA can offer them, will do the same for them.

Finally, I also remember a survey I took of the women in my congregation a number of years ago. I wanted to find out why they didn’t participate in our organization. The #1 answer as to why they didn’t participate was, “I have never been invited.” So there you go! Get out there, and join me in doing some inviting!

Kris Brugamyer, of Dickinson, North Dakota, is currently serving a second term on the churchwide executive board of Women of the ELCA.

Having three weeks off and spending it at home over the holidays was the most generous gift I was able to give to myself but it also brought me face to face with all of my stuff. And, while I realize I don’t have as much stuff as those who live the lifestyle of the rich and famous, I have more than enough.

That is the other phrase I want to learn to use:  more than enough. Because the truth is, most of us in the United States and most if not all who are reading this blog have “more than enough.” Speaking only about myself, I bear an enormous burden of riches when compared to those who live with the Hunger Season. (I’m referring to the families and villages/neighborhoods in many countries of Africa who at this exact time of year face debilitating if not deadly hunger. Ever since I saw how little too many others have, I have tried to learn to live with what I have on hand as well as nurture a conscious gratitude for what I do have along with a non-judgmental yet measuring eye for what I think I need.

2012 is the year I practice conscious consumption. Each item I put into my basket (be I at a bead store, clothing or a food store—or even an electronics gadget store) must be confronted with these questions: is this needed or is there another way to meet this need? If it is only wanted, it is time for me to grow up enough (I say to me) to question my desire to have and to sooth myself with the fact that I already have enough. The caveat is that I am speaking of things—not medication, or car or home maintenance. But even then, I hope to have a reverent gratitude for my ability to obtain. There is no big message in this blog. Only a sharing of something I am trying to learn to do for me.

Inez Torres Davis is Women of the ELCA’s director for justice.

We were all brought together to consider the theological, moral, social, economic, legal and personal issues experienced by women in this society. Certainly there was a commonality among the issues both here and abroad. Think about the many staggering statistics on women in poverty. Consider the need to focus on international issues of war and gender violence. There are also tremendous global differences in education for women. But, we were brought together to offer our unique perspectives on issues of justice for women, and as president of Women of the ELCA, I offered as a point of discussion the essential need for gender equality within the leadership structure of our church.

More specifically, I asked that this group (and ultimately the soon to be appointed task force) to consider what the true role of “women’s ministry” could be in our church if Women of the ELCA were able to be viewed as more than just a historical institution. We know that our organization is often viewed through the lens of the past… something we have always had but don’t necessarily need anymore. Or we have church leadership that reduces our congregational units to just being the sum total of our dedicated activities (quilt-making, altar guild, etc.). To do this is a failure to look deeper and to understand our mission and purpose… to understand that we are more than just a “ladies’ auxiliary” with no purpose beyond the work of our hands.

I am so grateful to know that Women of the ELCA… this community of women… is a living breathing body of women who constantly seek to help each other live out the Gospel in their everyday lives. This organization is not simply a quilting society. Nor are we something separate from the church. As an organization, we have long been advocates for social justice and gender equality. We have provided grants and scholarships to women and girls, both here at home and internationally. We have co-sponsored federal legislation to fight for better health education for women and we have established seed grants for programs that promote health and wholeness for women and girls in our communities.

Women of the ELCA is that place in the church for women to discover and to receive the resources they need so that they can refine their gifts and equip themselves to be leaders of this church.

When the only service requested of a local Women of the ELCA congregational unit is to host the coffee hour or to knit the baptismal blankets, it reinforces outdated practices and stereotypes. It doesn’t provide an opportunity for us to live into the modern reality of our mission statement, “mobilizing women to act boldly on their faith in Jesus Christ!”

But we, too, must share in the responsibility for this stereotypical view of our organization. When we continue to only operate within that comfort zone of the familiar pursuits, we limit the chance for our congregations to see us as relevant and innovative. When we seek no deeper goals than the same “tried and true” events (and never stop to listen to our inner voices that might want to push us to do more), we stunt our spiritual development as leaders in the church.

I THINK IT IS TIME FOR A CHANGE! And the beginning of a New Year is just the time to get started!

Think about what you might want to explore in the coming year… what new area of ministry might your congregational unit want to engage in to spark new life within your congregation? We certainly have some people within our congregations who want to keep us “pigeon-holed” as an organization. But with your enthusiasm and passion added to the mix… it will be hard to contain us. All we need to do is give it a try!

Share with me what you see on the horizon for yourself and for the future of Women of the ELCA…

Jenny Michael, of Pensacola, Florida,  is the churchwide president of Women of the ELCA.

Honestly, being a part of this organization has done quite a bit to calm the butterflies that seem drawn to my stomach, bypassing chrysalides, to take up permanent residence there. In fact, I have hidden my fears so well that some have called me a “cheerleader.”

Can you imagine me a cheerleader … me, whose split never got past a 45° angle, even if an offensive lineman pushed down on my head? Yet, as leaders, cheerleading is our challenge, for how can we expect others to be excited if we are not?

Being friendly is what eases the fears of others, even when it seems to take a little past forever to see results. Women need to feel truly welcome. If you think back, that’s probably how you stumbled into this community of women.

Invite women as you would to your house, enthusiastically and warmly, and with no strings attached. Don’t be tempted—in your joy over one new face—to go into “designated worker” mode. Assigning chores is a good way to send women running for the hills!

How do you invite? The last time you invited someone to your home, did you meet her at the door with a dishcloth in your hand, ready to give it over to her?

Dorothy Nevils is the president of the Indiana-Kentucky Synodical Women’s Organization of Women of the ELCA.

Before I could even get to the table of contents our grandson needed some bathroom assistance. That accomplished, I went back to the magazine. In fairly rapid succession, my reading was interrupted with a variety of preschooler inquiries, including the perennial “Nonna, kiss it and make it all better.” Then our less than petite Maine Coon jumped up on my lap, blocking all access to the magazine. The preschooler, not to be outdone, decided he needed to be on Nonna’s lap too. It was just about then that my husband apologetically asked for some help in the kitchen.

I checked myself, even as the words formed in my mind (“All I want is a moment to myself to get to the first story in this magazine … at this rate it’ll be next October until I get this magazine read …). I was in a warm house on a cold winter’s day. We had food enough to create a wonderful meal, and it was being made by my loving husband. An adorable preschooler wanted to play games with me, even believed that my kiss had healing powers. The unconditional love of a kitty cat, accompanied by his strong purr, warmed my heart. Indeed, the magazine could wait.

Linda Post Bushkofsky is the executive director of Women of the ELCA.

The struggle of women for equality with men in the United States is ongoing. And we’re doing such a good job that the term for a woman who supports equality—feminist—is often considered a four-letter word.

What we don’t hear much about are men who want equality with women.  However, last week a man commenting on Gather magazine’s Facebook page requested just that. And I, for one, was thrilled. David wrote: “I’m impressed with Gather‘s content! How could we include men in the Gather discussions? Women in the church gather to grow while men scatter.”

Editor Kate Elliott responded, “David, anyone can subscribe to Gather and we’d love it if men wanted to use the content to start a small group discussion or Bible study in their congregation! Conversation about the articles and Bible study could be part of adult education with mixed groups too. I can’t tell you how many men have commented to us that they read their wives’ copy of the magazine every month (one told me he tries to fish it out of the mail before she sees it so he can read it first).”

One of the reasons we changed the name of the magazine was to interest and include more readers, including full communion partners without a women’s magazine, and, of course, men. Men often contribute to our pages by writing articles and Bible studies. In fact, we feature a male pastor in one of our newest ads: Pastor Erik Christensen of St. Luke’s Lutheran Church, Logan Square, in Chicago, IL,  actually reads and uses the magazine.

Our magazine’s name and tagline is: Gather for Faith and Action. We don’t exclude or include either gender in that tagline. In this day and age, I don’t think the church can afford to turn away any evangelist, male or female. We are called to spread the Good News, and if Gather magazine can help with that, we would be delighted. How about you? How do you feel about men subscribing to Gather and forming a study group?

Terri Lackey is managing editor of Gather. Consider buying your husband, father, brother and/or son a subscription. While you’re at it, join our discussions on Facebook.

For years, I struggled with this part of the dream-turned-nightmare, trying to communicate how dehumanizing it is to be told that when I am seen, my color is not a part of what is seen. That people meant well when they said it only intensified the burden.

Years ago, I found an answer. I continue to instruct women in this way today. So, if you are a woman reading this please, recall a time when you were the only woman on a board or a committee. Go “back there” and remember. Please, get in touch with that experience. Take moments to really feel it before continuing to read this.

And, now, imagine one of the men on that committee or board turning to you one day just before the meeting began—maybe while you are both getting coffee. Imagine him turning to you and saying to you with satisfaction and pride, “(Fill in your name), when I look at you, I don’t see a woman.” Stay there. Feel for as long as you can…God is with you, so you can allow yourself to feel it.

Do you feel affirmed or complimented? More assured and confident? Able to give your best at that meeting? What are you feeling?

This is one reason I am so grateful to work with women. White women have a bridge; within their flesh and bones is a way to a visceral and imprinted understanding of how being told “when I look at you, I don’t see your color” is not a positive statement. On this day, I pray we each commit ourselves to going deeper in our understanding of King’s dream; and may we, together, discover ways to bring that dream to life in full, living color!

Inez Torres Davis is Women of the ELCA’s director for justice.

Spare the rod, spoil the child. This is a proverb that I’ve heard all my life. Why didn’t I listen to it? As a parent, I have personally tried both methods of discipline. I now have two grown daughters. One was spanked more times than I can remember and the other was never spanked. I know that every child is different but I can truly see a difference in these two. I attribute the differences to the way they were disciplined. The child that was spanked is more independent and is able to take responsibility for the decisions she makes. On the other hand, the child that was not spanked has a lot more growing up to do. She tends to rely on others (me) to take care of business matters, and there are always excuses if something goes wrong. She is spoiled rotten.

Proverbs 13:24 Those who spare the rod hate their children, but those who love them are diligent to discipline them. This proverb states that discipline, when administered in love, can be a helpful tool for growth. It’s a principle to keep in mind when God disciplines us through trials and tribulations.

What is your response to Proverbs 13:24?

Deborah Powell is the associate executive director of Women of the ELCA.

So, I’m glad that Women of the ELCA provides an alternative way to focus my attention on the people of Iowa, and every primary state to come. When I saw the Iowa maps on TV, I thought of recent phone calls, conference calls and emails with our Women of the ELCA leaders in Iowa and the other 49 states. We’ve had plenty to discuss, but the election has not come up once. They may care greatly about national politics, but there is so much more to their lives.

My resolution for this election year is to let the election maps and graphs pique my curiosity about the women who are in each state, shaping communities, supporting families and leading organizations. With curiosity piqued, I will try to learn and connect. Did you know that more than 5,600 Iowans subscribe to our magazine, Gather? I didn’t either, until I sent an email to a colleague today. With a little help from a Google search, I’ve already learned a lot more:

• The women’s organization in Western Iowa helped its companion synod in Tanzania to purchase a plantation and convert it into one of the highest-ranked girls secondary schools in the country (13^th out of 2000!).
• Women in Southeastern Iowa will gather next month for their annual Winter Retreats at Camp Pilgrim Heights and Camp Wyoming, to study and reflect on spiritual gifts, using the Women of the ELCA resource Gifts for you: Opening your spiritual gifts.
• A new board member in the Northeastern Iowa SWO is the Director of a cooperative ministry serving Clayton County. She lives on a farm and attends the same church where she was baptized as a child.
• All three synodical women’s organizations in Iowa have websites where you can access their newsletters and calendars.

Women of the ELCA, at its best, is a life-changing network of women acting boldly on their faith, throughout the U.S. and in the Caribbean. If the elections of 2012 direct our curiosity toward each other and strengthen our connections, well, that’s an interactive map I’d like to see.

Emma Crossen is Women of the ELCA’s director for stewardship and development.