Women of the ELCA

I’ve been told that not all women like to shop. Surely this isn’t true, but that is what they tell me! This has certainly never been the case for me. And this time of year is my absolute favorite! I know for some of you the idea that I might actually LIKE to get out in the stores on “Black Friday” may seem crazy. And yet, it is one of those family traditions that we cultivated as I grew up… we are a family with four daughters after all! Just after the Thanksgiving meal is cleared away, we spread the newspaper ads across the floor on the hunt for the best buy of the day. We map out our route each year according to the “doorbuster deals” and “early bird specials”. Sometimes we have even worn matching holiday t-shirts to add to the good cheer. (Well, that was only once and my sister Susannah did not appreciate my sense of whimsy!)

The potential holiday savings aren’t the only reason we brave the suburban mall sprawl though. There is a fluttery excitement to be in the middle of such activity… to feel the collective energy of all the shoppers and be a part of the “hustle and bustle.” We start early in the morning. I put on my hopeful grin and head out wondering just who will be that first person to whom I will say “Merry Christmas” this year.

Okay, so now that I’ve drawn this mental picture for you… I’m thinking you must be convinced that if you ran into me, I would be the most annoying part of your Black Friday harangue. Many people tell me they hate Black Friday. They either avoid this day all together opting to stay home or they reluctantly venture out to get the one deal they can’t pass up but go home as soon as possible. So I admit that not everyone loves this day as much as I do.

But I want to leave you with one thought here… I have not said that all my Black Fridays have been a delight. The trick is to embrace the good parts from the very start and try to smooth over the rough spots when they happen. What other events in our lives could be made better by doing just this? How might we influence the lives of others if we adopted this practice?

So, give it a try as we move into this holiday season. Even the grumpiest Grinch can be soothed by a little kindness and a smile on occasion… and saving 50% on a great pair of shoes doesn’t hurt either!

Jenny Michael, of Pensacola, Florida, is the president of Women of the ELCA.

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Last week in the Twittersphere I came across a great idea from the Chicago Foundation for Women. Here’s the tweet @ChiFdn4Women sent: For Thanksgiving we are naming reasons to be #thankfulwomen – please join us & highlight good news for women & girls in your community!

I’ve enjoyed reading the many reasons folks are #thankfulwomen, including this one: Why we’re #thankfulwomen: Young moms at @BrightEndeavors raise $ for Somalia so “no1 dies of hunger on our watch” http://t.co/pWogymRh

Bright Endeavors happens to be a Women of the ELCA grant recipient, and we know first hand how successful this program is at helping young moms overcome poverty. And this tweet shows how those young moms are paying it forward by helping those in Somalia.

So, with the Thanksgiving celebration just a few days away, I invite you to think about ways that we are #thankfulwomen. What’s the good news for women and girls in your community?

Since I’m writing from the perspective of the churchwide women’s organization, I’ll offer up two pieces of good news for women and girls in our churchwide organization.

1. In 2011 Women of the ELCA was able to make 32 grants to not-for-profit organizations, both domestic and international, that support healing and wholeness for women of all ages through the affirmation and advancement of women’s emotional, physical, and spiritual health. That’s good news!
2. Seventeen congregational units of Women of the ELCA used seed grants from our health initiative, Raising Up Healthy Women and Girls, to increase the capacity of the health initiative to affect the lives of women and girls. You can read about the wonderfully creative ways in which these 17 CUs did that. What good news! (And, if inspired, your CU can apply for a seed grant by December 15 and get a financial boost to move your efforts forward in our health initiative.)

So, I ask again, what’s the good news for women and girls in your community? Post your responses here. If you’re on Twitter, use the hashtag #thankfulwomen and post a response there as well.

Linda Post Bushkofsky is also thankful that she is in her tenth year of serving as executive director of Women of the ELCA.

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I contend that autumn is the prettiest season in the Midwest.

The blossoming trees in spring are lovely, yes. And it’s hard to beat the glittering new snow under streetlamps in winter. But the color of fall trees under windy grey skies is magical.

Over the last few weekends, a friend and I took day trips to see the fall colors around Chicago.

First we went to Moraine State Park in McHenry, Ill., to hike along the marshes and bogs, looking for migrating birds (that park is a traditional stop-over for water fowl on the move).

The next weekend, we went to the Morton Arboretum in Lisle, Ill., to see how the trees were changing color and to pick some fallen leaves (which I later made into a centerpiece).

Finally, we went to South Bend, Ind., and walked the campus of Notre Dame University and along the St. Joseph River. I had my camera at hand and you can see some of my photos here.

In every place, we  saw breathtaking landscapes and  color. Maybe I am getting old and sentimental, but I felt overwhelmed by how beautiful everything was. Add that to hot apple cider and cozy sweaters and it makes autumn my favorite season!

Mostly I am filled with gratitude: God has given us a wonder-full, magical world. We can feel blessings fall around us like orange and yellow leaves. These days set the tone for Thanksgiving next week.

It makes me grateful to be able to experience this good earth for one more autumn, even as I feel sad at the shortening daylight in November.

How about you? Do you have a favorite season?  Why does it speak to your heart?

 Kate Elliott is editor of Gather.

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I had outpatient surgery last week and was required by my doctor to quit taking any sort of blood-thinning, anti-inflammatory drugs a week before surgery. After five days off my meds, people were steering clear of me. You’d think I stopped smoking or something.

If you’re north of 50, you probably know that these particular pills shield you from true knowledge about your body. After going cold turkey, I felt muscles, bones, and joints that I didn’t know existed. I know that moaning and groaning about it doesn’t help the symptoms disappear. It can, however, make most of your friends disappear.

I know a woman with rheumatoid arthritis who is absolutely stoic about her pain. She never complains. The only way you know she has severe arthritis is because she twirls and dances her fingers around to keep them loose. I also know a woman who, when she corners you (and I always try to remain elusive), can go on and on about her pain. I have no doubt she’s in pain; she’s bent crooked from it, but I don’t want to spend 30 minutes listening to her talk about it.

And that’s ironic. Because I like to moan about my pain, too. I have found a friend who lets me groan if I let her groan. I guess this person could be considered a pain partner. Prayer partners share prayers; pain partners trade stories of their pain. We make jokes about it. We commiserate about it. We predict the weather by it.

“I know exactly how you feel,” we whimper to each other. “The weather must be changing because my (fill in the blank here) is killing me!” It’s nice to know somebody else really understands.

Most importantly, a pain partner does not try to fix the other’s ailments.

When I complain to my pain partner, I don’t have to complain to my husband, or my family, or my other friends, or my dogs. I get it out of my system and I get on with my day. Physically, I don’t feel any better, but I bet my spouse does.

Do you live with chronic pain? How do you cope? Do you have a friend who listens and supports you?

Terri Lackey is managing editor of Gathermagazine.

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I just had a birthday so age is still a lively conversation as folks wish me a belated birthday. It has been an interesting experience with the number of people who have broken the “never ask a woman her age” rule. Not that I’m offended by the question. And I do truthfully tell my age when asked. Actually, I am quite proud of the years I have accumulated, and I don’t think I know any one who would voluntarily take the alternative when they hit 39.

And what is the big whoop about 40 being the new 20? It is what it is…40. Men never seem to have these conversations. So, why do we have them? Why do we sneak around and lie about our age? And isn’t it backward in this commercialized societal trap to say you are younger than you are?

Let’s face it. It is a pointless game unless you own stock in cosmetics. Women over the magic age of 39 in this society are invisible unless you have discovered something, are a celebrity or you’re running from the law!

I just don’t get it. Women have been lying (and there are no little lies) about age for decades and generations. What was the purpose and what were women trying to achieve?  And if we haven’t achieved the goal, why do we continue perpetuating this crazy game that will only trap our young sisters, daughters and nieces?

What will they do or think when this golden commodity called youth that can open doors to jobs, careers, political, community or church opportunities slams shut because they have a birthday and no longer fit the “young” category and the next 20-30 something is waiting to take their seat?

What then?

Valora K Starr is Women of the ELCA’s director for discipleship.

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One of my takeaways from watching the film Miss Representation is the documented link between violence in media and violence perpetrated upon living beings. Violence in media fuels and produces violence in our homes and communities. Despite a growing body of evidence of this preventable truth, those creating and consuming media—whether it’s movies, television, video games, or the Internet—generate and call for more and more violence.

As Women of the ELCA, we are committed to bringing about healing and wholeness in the church, the community and the world. (See our Purpose Statement.) One way for us to live up to that commitment is to mobilize our considerable power and clout to end violence. Do you know about the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence Campaign? Now in its 21^st year, the campaign has been used as an organizing strategy by individuals and groups around the world to call for the elimination of all forms of violence against women.

As Christians we are called to be peacemakers, and our world desperately needs us to address violence against women. We cannot sit idly by. Download the Take Action Kit to learn how you can participate in the campaign. Become a fan of the 16 Days Campaign on Facebook. Plan an event. Talk with your family members about gender violence. Pray for the victims, pray for the perpetrators. Screen a film. Hold a vigil. Organize an art exhibit.

What will you do this day to work for the elimination of violence against women and girls?

Linda Post Bushkofsky is the executive director of Women of the ELCA.

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In celebrating the 30^th anniversary of our marriage, and commemorating a post-motorcycle accident, my husband and I recently invited family and friends to share in the event. Actually, it was a “covert operation” to thank them with our favorite things in the way of gifts for the “gifts” they had unselfishly given us over the past 4-5 years. Our guests were surprised by what they received. Each sat quietly in awe of what was presented to them during the narrated program. They were asked to humbly receive. It was clearly difficult to be such a recipient.

Recently our community of 1,000 residents lost our only grocery store to a blazing fire. It has impacted our main street in ways we hadn’t thought possible. No hustle and bustle to pick up last minute items before the 6:oo p.m. close, no coffee drinkers through the doors and no one standing by a cart chatting up the latest news. I began to think about our community and how the residents could, or would, ban together for a “makeover.” What does it take to come to the aid of others? What emotions will ensue? Will the residents be givers or takers? Will their actions be given graciously or will they need something in return?

I’ve been struggling with “humility” lately. Do we as the people of God always accept the gratitude of others with great humility or do we need a little fanfare to show our accomplishments? Am I willing to receive the gifts of salvation freely but perhaps not the gifts that others give to me unselfishly?

Looking back upon the evening of our anniversary celebration, it made me think about the gifts that we gather, known or unknown, spoken or whispered in the depths of our beings, that carry us through each day. As Christians we know what gifts we receive everyday without permission and without merit. We often receive a gift without our knowing or asking.

We have all found it difficult to receive from others what we might freely offer to others. I’m not sure that I would graciously accept such gifts. Am I a taker where the world owes me something or am I a giver asking for nothing in return?

What have you received or given lately?

Syd Brinkman, of Allison, Iowa, is currently serving her second term on the churchwide executive board.

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