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April 14, 2013–The Power of Not Saying Sorry

Contributed by Jay McDivitt, Thiensville, WI

 

Warm-up Question

Think of a time when you did and a time when you did not apologize for something you did wrong. How does it feel to say you’re sorry? How does it feel not to?

The Power of Not Saying Sorry

shutterstock_10860583editResearchers Tyler Okimoto, Michael Wenzel, and Kyli Hendrick recently reported on a study they did about the effects of apologizing – or not. Their findings were very interesting.  Apologizing often does make someone feel better. However, choosing not to apologize also makes a person feel better – and, often, better than they would have felt had they apologized.

Why? Because: “When you refuse to apologize, it actually makes you feel more empowered,” Okimoto said in an interview with NPR. “That power and control seems to translate into greater feelings of self-worth.”  This research reveals something powerful about human psychology and the power of being in control. It also might help us understand how we might better approach folks who we believe need to apologize. When we force people to apologize (as we often do with children), it makes them feel like they don’t have any power or self-control, that they are not in control of their choices. A forced apology is usually not very heartfelt and, thus, not meaningful.  Love and support, on the other hand, may lead folks to more freely and meaningfully apologize because they can work to heal a relationship without the threatening feelings of being forced.

 

Discussion Questions

  • What do you think? When have you been forced to apologize? (“Say you’re sorry…or else!”) How does that feel?
  • When you know you’ve done something wrong, what does it take to get you to say you’re sorry?
  • When someone apologizes to you, can you tell whether they mean it or not? What difference does it make?

Scripture Texts (NRSV) for Sunday, April 14, 2013 (Third Sunday of Easter)

Acts 9:1-20

Revelation 5:11-14

John 21:1-19

(Text links are to Oremus Bible Browser. Oremus Bible Browser is not affiliated with or supported by the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. You can find the calendar of readings for Year C at Lectionary Readings.)

For lectionary humor and insight, check the weekly comic Agnus Day.

 

Gospel Reflection

At the end of this gospel story, Jesus pulls Peter aside for a private conversation. He asks him three times, “Do you love me?” And each time, when Peter replies that he does love Jesus, the risen Christ says (again, three times): “Feed/tend my lambs/sheep.” Then Jesus explains to Peter that if he decides to follow through on this command to tend the flock, life for Peter will be challenging and dangerous. He will not be in control of his own life. He will suffer. He will die before he is ready.

Letting that sink in for a moment, then Jesus invites Peter to “follow me.” What’s going on here?  Remember that not long ago Peter was given the opportunity to show his love for Jesus by publicly claiming to belong to him. Three times, as Jesus was on trial and being prepared for death, Peter was asked if he knew and followed Jesus. Three times, Peter denied it. He let his fear get the better of him.  Jesus died without the solace of knowing that one of his closest friends would be there for him when the road became difficult. Peter felt terrible about what he had done. Terrible times three.

Imagine, then, how Peter was feeling when all of a sudden Jesus shows up by the seaside. Imagine the guilt and shame churning in his stomach when Jesus pulls him aside for a private chat. He expected a reprimand; he deserved harsh judgment. What he got instead was another chance to be in loving relationship with Jesus. Another chance to share in his ministry. Another chance to be a disciple. Another chance to show that Jesus was worthy of love.

Instead of judgment, he received grace and a purpose. Three times.  And so it is with the rest of us. We show up to church with any number of reasons to feel guilty or ashamed. We have much to confess. We deny our love for Jesus as we give our love and allegiance to popularity, prosperity, success, politics… you name it.

What we get from Jesus is not judgment but love. He feeds us – and then calls us into a life of feeding others. He gives us chance after chance after chance to start over and slowly learn how to follow, how to love, how to live and die for something bigger than ourselves or our fears.  And thanks be to God for that. Amen.

Discussion Questions

  • Why didn’t Jesus give Peter a “firm talking to”? Why didn’t he make him apologize? If you were Jesus, what would you want to say to Peter about what happened before, when he denied knowing you and left you alone when you needed him most?
  • What happens next in Peter’s life is really quite remarkable. He lives a life of faithful discipleship, claiming the Name of Jesus, and he is killed for it. What gave him the strength to do that when before he was too weak or fearful to acknowledge even knowing Jesus?
  • When have you deserved to be judged or forced to apologize? When have you been forgiven, whether you apologized or not?

Activity Suggestions

Write a letter to someone you have hurt or wronged. Write another letter to someone who has hurt or wronged you. (These letters can remain private; you don’t have to send them or share them with anyone.) If you could say whatever you wanted to that person, what would it be? Do you want to be forgiven? Do you want to forgive? Do you want to have a relationship with this person, or are you happy to just move on? What would it take to be back into a relationship as friends, family, or whatever?

When your letters are done, talk together as a group about what you wrote. Without sharing names or details, what feelings did you put into it? What actions would be a part of healing this relationship? How much of your letter was judgment, and how much was grace?

(Note: I don’t expect anyone to be totally full of grace and forgiveness and love all the time. That’s Jesus’ job. Thankfully he’s a lot better at it than most of us. The point is simply to explore the power of saying sorry—or not—and  the energy and work it takes to be in relationship with people when getting hurt is always a real possibility.)

Closing Prayer

Risen Christ, you are full of love—for me, for us, and for everyone. How do you do that? It is amazing that you could be so gracious and kind with people who really don’t deserve it. Thank you for loving us, in spite of all our faults, and teach us to slowly begin to learn from you how to love and forgive. Amen.

 

April 7, 2013–What’s in a Name?

Contributed by Lindean Barnett Christianson, Bozeman, MT

 

Warm-up Question

  • Do you have a nickname? What is it? Who gave it to you? Why? Do you like it? Why/why not?
  • If you could change your name, what would you choose? Why?

What’s in a Name?

The cardinals of the Roman Catholic Church elected Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio to be the 266th pope on March 13, 2013. Thousands of pilgrims and tourists crowded the square in front of St. Peter’s Basilica at the Vatican, waiting to learn not only who was elected, but also the name he would take for himself. Since the 11th century it has been customary for a pope to choose a new name upon his election to the office (the first pope to take a new name was elected in the 6th century).

shutterstock_53792359editThe new pope, former archbishop of Buenos Aires, Argentina, was already known for his love for the poor and his own simple lifestyle. His choice of the name Francis, after St. Francis of Assisi, indicates his intention to continue his focus on and devotion to the poor.

In an interview with journalists from the Vatican and Latin America, Pope Francis said that as the votes stacked up in his favor, a fellow cardinal from Brazil told him , “Don’t forget the poor.”  The new pope added, “Right away, with regard to the poor, I thought of St. Francis of Assisi, then I thought of war. Francis loved peace and that is how the name came to me.”

The new pope said he also thought of St. Francis of Assisi’s concern for the natural environment and how he was a “poor man, a simple man, as we would like a poor church, for the poor.”

This is the first time a pope has chosen the name Francis, and many Catholics, and non-Catholics alike, are hoping Francis’ new name is an indicator of changes and reform to come.

 

Discussion Questions

  • What do you know about St. Francis of Assisi?  If you need to do some research, look up the story of his life.  What would a congregation heavily influenced by his vision of faith look like?  How would taking his values seriously affect your life?
  • The papal name Cardinal Borgoglio took has been seen as a reflection of his priorities as a Christian.  If you were elected pope what name would you take to reflect your understanding of what is important in being a Christian?  Why would you choose that name?  (The name need not be a famous one; you might pick “Fred” because of a custodian who embodies the gospel for you.)

Scripture Texts (NRSV) for Sunday, April 7, 2013 (Second Sunday of Easter)

Acts 5:27-32

Revelation 1:4-8

John 20:19-31

(Text links are to Oremus Bible Browser. Oremus Bible Browser is not affiliated with or supported by the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. You can find the calendar of readings for Year C at Lectionary Readings.)

For lectionary humor and insight, check the weekly comic Agnus Day.

 

Gospel Reflection

The Gospel according to John doesn’t tell us where Thomas was on the evening of that first day of the week, the day of resurrection. We only know where he wasn’t: in the locked room with the rest of the disciples. Jesus shows up, wounds and breath and all, but when his colleagues give him the play-by-play Thomas simply cannot believe it. He says he needs not only to see, but also to touch, Jesus, in order to believe.

For wanting to experience what the rest of the disciples experienced, Thomas has received the nickname “Doubting Thomas” from history. John never calls him that. According to John, Thomas’s nickname is “the Twin,” though the gospel doesn’t elaborate on why.

A week later Jesus gives Thomas what he asked for and Thomas confesses his faith: “My Lord and my God!” Here, the one who doubts is also the one who believes and proclaims. Jesus, however, does not commend Thomas for this confession. Instead, he pronounces a blessing on those “who have not seen and yet have come to believe,” on us.

Discussion Questions

  • What nickname would you give Thomas? Why?
  • Who has helped you come to faith in Jesus? How have they done that?
  • What do you think about the phrase “Seeing is believing”?  How about its reverse, “Believing is seeing”?
  • Gospel-writer John steps into his story when he addresses his readers and says, “These [signs] are written so that you may come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through believing you may have life in his name.” What do you think of this purpose statement?

Activity Suggestions

  • Think of positive and encouraging nicknames for the people in your discussion group or others you all know (pastor, youth leader, etc.).
  • Write thank you notes to those who have shared their faith in Christ with you (confirmation or Sunday School teachers, baptismal sponsors, mentors, etc.).
  • Bless each other using Jesus’ words: Name, blessed are you who has not seen and yet has come to believe. Amen

Closing Prayer

God of new life, Jesus breathed the Holy Spirit into his disciples. Send your Spirit also to us, that we who have not seen yet may come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through believing we may have life in his name. Fill us with your peace, and send us into your world. Amen

February 24, 2013–Daring Danger

Contributed by Erik Ulstead, West Des Moines, IA

 

Warm-up Question

What’s the most heroic thing you’ve seen someone do?

Daring Danger

shutterstock_90565891editFirefighters are often called into dangerous circumstances.  Typically, they are asked to rescue people from burning buildings and fiery explosions.  Earlier this month, local firefighters in Kokomo, Indiana found themselves trying to extract a dog from a partially frozen creek.

Like most dogs, Chancellor (or Chance, for short) loved to chase squirrels.  “He’ll chase anything with fur or feathers, but he always comes back,” remarked owner Jimmy Prestler.  Chance pursued the squirrel to a nearby park and onto a patch of ice.  “I’m guessing the squirrel made it across the creek, but the dog didn’t,” said Dave King, battalion chief with the fire department.  A person driving through the park saw the dog fall through the ice and stopped to help, but he was unable to save Chance and called the fire department.

Firefighter Derek Pounds was given the chilly task of rescuing Chance.  After a few minutes Pounds was able to slide across the creek pull the dog out of the water, with the aid of a cold-water rescue suit and an ice sled.  Chance was shaking violently and had icicles frozen to his face.  Pounds wrapped him in a blanket to warm and dry the dog.  King said the dog likely would have died if he’d been in the creek much longer.  “It’s lucky someone saw what happened and called,” he said. “Had he not seen him, the dog would have frozen to death.”

Prestler expressed gratitude to everyone involved in the rescue.  “I think I would have to get therapy if he didn’t survive,” Prestler said.  “Whenever I come home, it’s like seeing my brother after five years.  Chance just goes nuts every time.  They not only saved his life, they saved mine, too.”

 

Discussion Questions

  • When have you seen public servants (firefighters, police officers, road construction workers, etc.) in action?
  • What do you think about the owner’s comments about his dog?
  • Have you ever been asked to help someone in need? How did you respond?

Scripture Texts (NRSV) for Sunday, February 24, 2013 (Second Sunday of Lent)

 

Genesis 15:1-12, 17-18

Philippians 3:17-4:1

Luke 13:31-35

(Text links are to Oremus Bible Browser. Oremus Bible Browser is not affiliated with or supported by the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. You can find the calendar of readings for Year C at Lectionary Readings.)

For lectionary humor and insight, check the weekly comic Agnus Day.

 

Gospel Reflection

There’s a lot going on in these few verses in Luke 13.  Jesus had just wrapped up a teaching and healing spree in various communities outside of Jerusalem.  With each stop along the way, the crowds grew larger.  Everyone wanted to see this Jesus they had heard so much about.  However, not everyone was a fan of Jesus.

Herod, the ruler of that region, recently beheaded John the Baptist, Jesus’ friend and mentor.  Many Pharisees (the nice ones, not the mean ones) were concerned that Herod would come after Jesus next.  They told Jesus to leave Jerusalem and go into hiding.  However, Jesus was defiant, insisting that the work of casting out demons and performing cures was too important for him to hide.

He also pauses for a moment to express his dismay for the whole city of Jerusalem.  Jesus is sad for the way Jerusalem has treated the people God has sent there as prophets and ministers.  Furthermore, he knows that he will suffer a similar fate when he returns (for what we now know as Palm Sunday).

We learn a lot about Jesus in this passage.  First, it’s clear that Jesus is one who protects and heals people who are sick or broken.  Second, we see that Jesus is committed to complete the tasks to which he was called.  Finally, we discover that, regardless of their past, Jesus still has concern for the well-being of the entire community.  Through all of this, Jesus reveals that God has a heart for particular places and times.  God cares about your town…your school…your family…your church.  Like a mother hen covering her chicks, or a firefighter rescuing a dog,  Jesus seeks to protect us – and calls us to shelter others in need.

Discussion Questions

  • Why do you think the Pharisees are warning Jesus about Herod’s plot?
  • Did Jesus make the right choice to stay in Jerusalem?
  • Who are some people God is calling you to protect and care for this week?

Activity Suggestions

  • Grab some craft sticks and glue.  Attempt to build a building that can’t be knocked over by someone blowing on it.  Talk about how different structures are used to protect people from bad weather or evil people.
  • Contact a local animal shelter.  Offer to bring your group to learn about the work they do.  Consider volunteering some time to care for animals or do repairs around their facility.

Closing Prayer

God, we thank you for sending your Son to care for us.  May we provide comfort, hope, and peace to the people we encounter this week.  In Jesus name, amen.

December 23, 2012–Be Unreasonable

Contributed by Jocelyn Breeland, Fairfax, VA

 

Warm-up Question

Are you a reasonable person? Is that an asset?

Be Unreasonable

Daniel Epstein is an unreasonable man. A self-proclaimed “impatient optimist” and founder of the Unreasonable Institute, Epstein believes entrepreneurship is the key to solving the world’s great problems and his organization is committed to supporting the entrepreneurs who are tackling our most impossible challenges.

For example, the team behind Artificial Vision for the Blind, have invented a way for people without sight – even without eyes – to learn to see using cameras mounted on glasses and a sensory pad that converts signals from the visual cortex into physical sensations. Individuals outfitted with this apparatus have been able to describe their surroundings, even read books.

The Unreasonable Institute supports innovators by giving them advice and help in raising capital so they can bring their ideas to the world. To date, the Unreasonable Institute has helped 70 teams in 36 nations, and they continue to attract new innovators every year.

The Unreasonable Institute gets its name from a quote by George Bernard Shaw, who said, “The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.” Thanks to the Institute, unreasonable men and women all over the world have some help in changing the world for the better.

 

Discussion Questions

  • Can you name a historical figure who succeeded by being unreasonable? (For example, you might say that Christopher Columbus was unreasonable in believing he could sail around the world to India or that Abraham Lincoln was unreasonable to think he could free the slaves without destroying the Union.)
  • In the instance you named, what do you think contributed to the success of the unreasonable idea?
  • Think of a problem in your congregation, your community, or the world. How could you address that problem? Be unreasonable.

Scripture Texts (NRSV) for Sunday, December 23, 2012 (Fourth Sunday of Advent)

Micah 5:2-5a

Hebrews 10:5-10

Luke 1:39-45 [46-55]

(Text links are to Oremus Bible Browser. Oremus Bible Browser is not affiliated with or supported by the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. You can find the calendar of readings for Year C at Lectionary Readings.)

For lectionary humor and insight, check the weekly comic Agnus Day.

 

Gospel Reflection

Today’s Gospel highlights a very improbable situation. We have Elizabeth, elderly and barren but carrying a child, and Mary, a virgin, also pregnant.

It might be a challenge for us to relate to the details of this scene. None of us is likely to be in the exact situation as Elizabeth or Mary. But we are similar in this way: Like these two women, we all have received gifts from God, and we each have a special purpose to do his will.

Although we are unlikely to ever be in the presence of the unborn Jesus, we do see and feel the presence of Christ in our lives every day. Through Bible study and prayer, we can come to know God better, and more easily recognize his constant presence among us.

Like John in the womb, God has given us souls attuned to his presence. If we can understand our world through the eyes of faith, as Mary and Elizabeth did, then we too will leap for joy, like John, in the presence of our Messiah.

Discussion Questions

  • How does Elizabeth know that Mary is “the mother of my Lord”?
  • Explain the blessings Elizabeth proclaims in verses 42 and 45.
  • What does Mary mean in verse 46 when she says her “soul magnifies the Lord”?
  • Does your soul also magnify the Lord? How so?

Activity Suggestions

Write your own Magnificat:

Luke 1:46-55 form a poem (sometimes sung) known as the Magnificat (translated: my soul magnifies). In it, Mary praises God for his blessing to her, and his many great acts on behalf of his people.

  • To write your own, start with a simple expression of praise and thanksgiving for something God has done in your life. Tell what this means to you.
  •  Next, list the qualities of God’s actions towards you (mercy, power, wisdom, compassion, etc.).
  • Finally, list some (at least three or four) of the other ways God has shown his presence to you, your friends and family, and your community.
  • Share your work with the others in the group.

Closing Prayer

Heavenly Father, we thank you for the many ways, great and small, that you show yourself to us every day. We are comforted by your presence, and emboldened to live fully the lives you have planned for us. Teach us to know and accept your will, and let our souls leap for joy to have you near. In Christ’s name we pray. Amen.

November 11, 2012–Reckless Generosity

Contributed by Paul Baglyos, St. Paul, MN

Warm-up Question

Generosity: Is it just a nice idea or is it a life commitment?

Reckless Generosity

Earlier this fall blogger David Briggs, writing for the Huffington Post, noted that recent research reveals that many churchgoing Americans misrepresent the amount of money they give in charitable contributions.  Whether intentionally or not, many people reply to questions about their giving by overstating the amount they actually give.  Briggs describes the research findings as indicating a “gap between perception and reality.”  Many people think that they give more than they really do, perhaps because they are unaware of their actual giving.  They may claim that they give more than they really do because they want to be regarded as more generous than they really are.  Apparently, many people are more committed to the idea of giving than to the actual practice of it. For Briggs’ full article on the research findings, go here.

 

Discussion Questions

  • Why do you think many people overstate the amount of money they actually give in charitable contributions?
  • Do you think it is difficult to be generous?  If so, why is it difficult?
  • Do you know any generous people?  Who are they?  In what ways are they generous?
  • Are you a generous person?  Do you find it difficult or easy to be generous?

Scripture Texts (NRSV) for Sunday, November 11, 2012 (Twenty-fourth Sunday after Pentecost)

1 Kings 17:8-16

Hebrews 9:24-28

Mark 12:38-44

(Text links are to Oremus Bible Browser. Oremus Bible Browser is not affiliated with or supported by the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. You can find the calendar of readings for Year C at Lectionary Readings.)

For lectionary humor and insight, check the weekly comic Agnus Day.

 

Gospel Reflection

By commending the example of the poor widow, Jesus makes it clear that true generosity cannot be measured in money but only in attitude.  The widow’s two small copper coins, worth only a penny, count for little in comparison to the much larger sums of money given by others.  The true value of her offering is that it represents everything she has to give.  In other words, the widow is more generous than all the others because she gives everything while they give only something.

Jesus emphasizes that the widow “put in everything she had, all she had to live on.”  By any human calculation, the widow has done something reckless and foolish.  But her reckless folly mirrors the generosity of God.  Again and again in the teaching of Jesus, as in the entire Bible, God is seen to be reckless and foolish in God’s own abundant generosity.  Consider the stories that Jesus tells about the father and his two sons (Luke 15) or the laborers hired to work in the vineyard (Matthew 20).  Read what Jesus teaches in Matthew 7:25-33, and reflect upon the ways in which the poor widow has taken such teaching to heart.

By commending the generosity of the poor widow, Jesus points to the generosity of God.  The widow is a witness to the generosity of God, who gives everything and all.  Consider what Martin Luther teaches about God’s generosity in the Small Catechism, where Luther explains the Apostles’ Creed.  Scripture tells us that human beings are created in the image of God.  The poor widow shows us what it means to live as the image of the God who gives everything and all.

Discussion Questions

  • How do our practices of generosity witness to the generosity of God?  How does our giving represent what we believe about God?  What does our giving teach others about God?
  • What does it mean for us to be people created in the image of an abundantly generous God?  How does our generous God call us to live?

Activity Suggestions

  • Have a conversation at home with your family about financial giving.  Ask how much money the people in your family give in church offerings and other charitable contributions.  What are the beliefs and attitudes that guide the giving habits in your family?  Are the people in your family willing or reluctant to talk about their giving?  How does your family teach and practice generosity?
  • As a group, identify a project or a concern toward which you would like to make a collective contribution.  Make a plan about what you will do together, including the commitments that each person will make to help fulfill that plan.

Closing Prayer

Help us who have received so freely from you to give as freely in our turn, and so have the pleasure of giving as well as the happiness of receiving.*  Amen

 (*for this and other prayers)